Full Windsor

Pimp My Ride

2009-07-22T21:38:00.008-04:00

My in-laws have a shore house in Delaware. In the garage is a Trek Navigator and a yard sale Rand cruiser bike, styled in primary blue with white and neon pink decals and a solid amount of rust. My stepson and I decided to give it a makeover.

We took it almost completely apart. Painted the blue parts army green and the shiny parts (including the spokes) a gritty hammered black steel. (gunmetal was unavailable). Once it was fairly dry, I put it back together, took it for a test drive down Rt. 1 from Lewes to Dewey and proclaimed it safe. Next move is crafting some stencils and adding a few insignia.

Sadly, while purchasing a basket kit at the bike shop, we saw a $520 custom Felt beauty that has outdone us in every way. Though you can't put a price on quality time and do-it-yourself pride.

A Car Story

2009-07-10T10:57:00.004-04:00

I'm not a car guy. It's not really in my blood. I have friends and relatives by marraige that are, but most of it is lost on me.

My unlce Johnny sold my dad his brown Mercury Capri when I was just old enough to notice what kind of car he was driving. I can remember the exact moment. He pulled out onto a highway pretty hard and the tires screeched and the engine growled. It served more as a second car. In fact, if I recall correctly, my old man was taking me from a family get-together to my baseball game that day. We wore it completely into the ground. I started to learn stick in that baby, and that may have been what ultimately killed it.

My mom's dad has a dark blue Crown Vic. He's had this car forever. Not a specific one, though. He's replaced an old dark blue Crown Victoria with a brand new one at least twice since I've been old enough to notice. I used to find it a little absurd. Lately, I kind of dig the idea. Some guys look forward to getting a new car every couple years. My father-in-law, for instance, is always lusting after some variety of hot rod or new look classic. That seems to be pretty common. A lot of guys view cars like toys. My relationship with cars is more like the kind you have with a hunting dog or a pair of shoes. When they wear out from over use, you know they worked for you, so you might as well replace them strait up.

As a kind of nod to the old Capri, my first and only car is a brown Mercury Sable. Same detailing, stripes and sunroof, as the old one. It's a 2000. It runs good, but it won't last forever. Probably just long enough to teach my 11 year old step son how to drive before giving out. You can bet that I'll replace it with a brown Mercury sedan of some sort. Mildly sporty, sunroof, pinstripes, etc. I figure, If it ain't broke...

Wild West Gentleman Style

2009-07-03T12:53:00.002-04:00

Perhaps this is a terrible idea. But perhaps this is pure inspired sartorial genius. I've been watching a lot of old westerns lately and I couldn't help but notice the prominence of the Western String Tie on men of class and sophistication. Not men with particular pretnese or rank. Just hard nosed cowboys who prefered looking sharp to looking dusty and grizzled.

Maybe it's time to try one out. See how it plays. It might be just the look I've been searching for. Or it could make me look like Colonel Sanders.

Root Canal

2009-06-25T08:53:00.003-04:00

I’m scheduled to have a root canal today at 2:30 (tooth hurty) get it. I wish I was making that up. I wish I was making the whole thing up. Actually, I’m more concerned with the pain of paying for it that the physical pain I’m in for.

But if I’m looking for a silver lining, I suppose there’s one sliver. All this talk and experiment in the ways of dressing, smelling, drinking and equipping myself like a man is one thing. It’s probably a more noble pursuit to try and take it like a man.

Quick back story: I had a toothache years ago and my original dentist passed away the week of my appointment. I let it go for a while before finding a new dentist. He patched me up, but warned that somewhere down the road I might need a root canal. The time has come, but he lamented the fact that my tooth was unusually long (30mm) and he lacked the proper equipment to get it done right. He sent me to a specialist who I’ll be meeting and cowering from this afternoon. If it ends up being an interesting event, I’ll let you know about it.

My abnormally long and poorly maintained teeth

True Cool = Charlie Watts

2009-05-29T09:11:00.003-04:00

The aim is to have no aim, but nail the center of the target anyway. Coolness is not giving a fuck without saying "I don't give a fuck". And nobody, in my estimation, is less affected and more spot on than the backbone of the goddamn Rolling Stones.

"When people talk about the '60s I never think that was me there. It was me and I was in it, but I was never enamoured with all that. It's supposed to be sex and drugs and rock and roll and I'm not really like that. I've never really seen the Rolling Stones as anything."

XX Mascot

2009-05-26T08:44:00.002-04:00

I can’t say that I endorse Dos Equis. But this fictional lothario does and he makes Bill Brasky look like Spuds MacKenzie. Or Spuds MacKenzie look like Bill Brasky. I’m not sure what I’m trying to say. He’s awesomely awful and awfully awesome.

“He is the most interesting man in the world.”

“His reputation is expanding faster than the universe.”

“He once had an awkward moment just to see how it feels.”

“He lives vicariously through himself.”

“The police often question him just because they find him interesting.”

“His beard alone has experienced more than a lesser man’s entire body.”

“His blood smells like cologne.”

Emerson

2009-05-22T11:27:00.002-04:00

"There comes a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better or worse as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernal of nourshing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given him to till."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

(Courtesy: The Sporting Life Blog)

Monkey see...

2009-05-21T13:09:00.002-04:00

"To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while."

- Josh Billings

That's "Bone"

2009-05-20T15:16:00.002-04:00

Why Not?

2009-05-19T11:02:00.002-04:00

So the general idea of blogging has been significantly moved down the priority ladder. My apologies. I'm still moving forward, just talking about it less. Which acctually feels like a significant step forward. I've added a few choice items to my aresenal, but one thing I don't have, or need, but would love is a pair of red heel socks from Fox River Mills. I'm sure you'll recognize them from stuffed mokey fame. Wouldn't it be oh so quirky to put them on your feet? (Made in the USA to boot)

Carry on.

Cutting Back = New Growth

2009-05-06T11:46:00.002-04:00

Transition has been the name of the game lately. For starters my employer has cut me back to 4 days a week. Combine that with a few others not being so lucky, and I am suddenly quite busy.

This has turned several theoretical plans into a reality. For one, cable is gone. Well, once I relinquish the equipment on Saturday it’s gone. So is the accumulation of clothing and other accoutrements for that matter. A few additional budgetary considerations and the family boat is afloat.

As far as gains and benefits go...
I’m getting to spend a good amount of quality time with my son, and once summer arrives, the whole family. I’ll be able to begin and tend to a handful of household projects: painting, gardening, repair, etc. I’m determined to make good use of this whole thing. I’m planning on learning a few more tricks in the kitchen as I prepare dinner for the family on my days off. I plan to do a lot more reading as well. Call me overly optimistic, but a life without television and shopping, traded for more time at home with the kids has got to be good for the soul.

Perhaps the most positive development is learning that my loved ones are happy to trade a handful of luxuries for time together. In the face of what could be considered a crisis, it’s good to know.

On other semi-related topics:
I sampled some Chivas Regal 12 year old Scotch at a going away get together. Good stuff. Unfortunately, it would be just the kind of thing I’ll have to start giving up.

I inherited a handful of ties from a departing coworker gentleman, including some choice Christmas themed ones. My main concern right now is having the chance to put them to good use.

Required Merit Badges

2009-04-30T07:00:00.002-04:00

I was (am) an Eagle Scout. I don’t make a secret of it, but I don’t usually publicize it either. So much for that.

One of the tasks you needed to complete in order to attain the rank of Eagle Scout was earning a complete set of “Required Merit Badges”:

Camping
Citizenship in the Community
Citizenship in the Nation
Citizenship in the World
Communications
Emergency Preparedness / Lifesaving
Environmental Science
Family Life
First Aid
Hiking / Cycling / Swimming
Personal Fitness
Personal Management

An all around great set of skills to master and an ideal foundation for a budding man, I must say.

My favorite electives were:
Orienteering
Wilderness Survival
Rifle Shooting
Small Boat Sailing
Golf

I’d like to try and dig up my merit badge sash and post it. In the meantime, you can get the idea from this guys.

At the very least, I’d like to find some of the old merit badge books and put my kids through the paces. My stepson’s sports and dual family schedule makes boy scout membership a challenge. Though, he has expressed a strong interest in those kinds of activities. I guess it couldn’t hurt to give myself a refresher and bestow a sort of honorary scout rank on him. Kind of like an emergency baptism or teaching certificate.

I also think it would be fun to assemble a committee of sorts to create a set of requirements and guidebooks for post-scouting activites. We could create, earn and give out merit badges in things like: Whiskey Drinking, Steak Grilling, Motorcycle Ownership, Child Scolding, Poker, Home Improvement, Lawn Care, etc.

Old People Candy

2009-04-29T14:40:00.005-04:00

Since the last of the Easter Candy vanished from the community food table at work, it has been mostly empty. This morning someone piled a ton of spiced jelly beans. The classic flavors were refreshing. Instead of tasting like Starburts or Lifesavers, they were a medley of mint, licorice and cinnamon. A combination I like to call “old people” flavors.

Lately, I’ve been trying to shed adolescent habits and styles. Opting, whenever possible, to take the grow-up route. I’ve developed many new tastes: whiskey, loafers, pocket squares, grapefruit, etc. I’ve even refined my tastes in candy. I couldn’t tell you the last time I had a Skittle or a gummy bear. For a while now it’s bee all spice drops, licorice, dark chocolate, Bit-O-Honey, caramel cremes, and all variety of old people flavored hard candy, like butterscotch and peppermint.

My dad used to keep a handful of butterscotch candies on his dresser drawer. I used to think it was because that was the only candy we wouldn’t completely devour the moment his back was turned. Now I’m starting to think that perhaps candy, like most indulgences, has a sophisticated side to explore and savor.

Honky

2009-04-28T23:06:00.001-04:00

Mini Summer Vacation

2009-04-28T11:02:00.002-04:00

I set out with a somewhat ambitious goal of daily posts. But the gorgeous weather, baseball season and general business conspired against it.

I suppose it will make for a more interesting blog when I have something interesting enough to mention that I’m forced to cut through everything else and share it. But in the meantime, I hope I don’t drop off of your radar if you had been checking in.

Here are a few short form topics that I will temporarily leave to your imagination.

A Hamilton Watch

Ultra-bright patchwork madras shorts

J. Crew Sunglasses & Driving Cap

Colorful socks

Monogramming

Tie Clips

Vegetable Gardening

Vinyl Records

Barbecue

Summer Alcohol

...a Donkey in the Kentucky Derby...

2009-04-24T07:00:00.001-04:00

Pretty sure I'm the only person who's nostalgic for this ad campain. But what the heck, it's suposed to be in the high 80s this weekend. Prime conditions for a little T&T.

Saluting the Antihero

2009-04-23T07:00:00.001-04:00

"All men are scoundrels, or at any rate almost all. The men who are not must have had unusual luck, both in their birth and in their upbringing" ~ Bertrand Russell

Nobody's perfect. And it might be better to be a bad guy with redeeming qualities than to be a good guy with flaws. At any rate it seems more fullfilling to be a bum stiving for elegance than to be a natural born dandy falling from grace.

Earthly Possessions

2009-04-22T09:34:00.005-04:00

My step son approached me this morning. He informed me that we were out of dog food. Then he asked me, “What are you doing today?”. “As far as what?” I replied. “For the Earth. It’s Earth Day.” he stated with the “obviously” implied.

That was a good question. I thought about it for most of the morning. There are probably more things I should not do as a gesture towards mother Earth. But I think it would be a good idea to do something, even if it’s mostly symbolic. I should have biked to work today or I should break ground on a vegetable garden. We are getting replacement windows. I guess we could call the contractor and give him the official go-ahead today. On a more creative line, we could spend the evening with all lights and appliances turned off, hanging out in candle light. Or I could go out and make a purchase or donation that might have an ripple effect on the greater economic landscape.

I’ve always held on the idea that the best thing one person can do to change the world is to simply take a stand and set an example. Did you notice how the price of gas fell from over $4 last summer down to under $2. That was because I started biking to work. That was my economic influence at work. When I spend money, I like to think about the big picture as much as possible. Money is a powerful force after all. Using it not only gets you stuff, but it exerts influence on the market. It let’s the beast know what people want, were they want it, and how to make it. Buying things that are organic, eco-friendly, or recycled can have a modest but real impact on the production of these things as the market counteracts to it.

So, here’s my plan for Earth Day. After baseball practice, we're going to Target to buy dog food. On top of that, we are each going to buy one item that will let the market know that we care about the environment, in hopes that it moves more in that direction. Perhaps a box of high efficiency light bulbs, an article of the new limited edition Loomstate organic cotton apparel, thermal lined roman shades, some organically branded food or drink, planting seeds, a rain collection contraption, but above all we are not going to accept a plastic bag to them home in.

Loomstate organic cotton pocket tee, made for Target

On top of that, I’m going to buy something from the thrift shop today, and further along the recycled items line, we’ll spend some time making a bird feeder or wind chime out of a plastic bottle and other would-be trash. (The kid has been bugging me about doing that for a few days. Going so far as to warm up to the idea of cancelling cable if it means more home made craft projects.) Regardless of the limited significance of these actions, they should prove to be a memorable and worthwhile gesture. Showing the kid and the Earth (and in some way, the dogs) that they are important to me.

(May)be Better Off

2009-04-20T16:21:00.002-04:00

The wife and I are throwing around the idea of a May without cable. Life seems to be better when you can avoid turning on the television. You find yourself engaged in activities like reading, talking, playing, making, walking, listening, and just using your time in a productive way. Days without television seem longer. Life seems better in general. I think we’d be happier without it.

Convincing ourselves of this move can be done. Staving off a children’s mutiny is another story. But ultimately, they would reap the most benefits from the experiment. They might discover reading and imagination. They might be inclined to get more exercise, take up hobbies and develop skills. Hopefully we’d all discover that we don’t even miss it. All realizing that cable was an addiction, offering little pleasure in exchange for hours of devotion.

On the other hand, we could become freakishly droll or unbearably uptight as a result. Or worse, we could discover that TV has been casually guarding us from discovering the fact that we are not compatible enough to live without it.

As part of a broader strategy, the cable free month will be supplemented with replacement activities. Scheduled walks, reading time, family game nights and earlier bed times will be instituted. And we shall devote ourselves to cultivating a vegetable garden and we will make time to watch movies together (so as to prevent atrophy of the entertainment center and withdraw fueled nervous breakdowns). Maybe some of us will learn to knit or sew. Maybe some of us will become healthier. Maybe we will all bond on a new level and become all around better, happier and smarter people.

But maybe we’ll hate the experience and resolve to watch more TV. Maybe we won’t make it a week before we mutually get to that point. Maybe we’ll bag the idea altogether. Maybe. Maybe not. But if it’s going to happen, it probably should be soon, the month of May being ideal. Because by the time June comes around and the rest of the family is stuck at home together full time, this kind of experiment might get ugly. Maybe I’ll have to rush home in the middle of the day to an episode of violent backlash. Or does that only happen on cable TV?

Take a Hike

2009-04-18T11:13:00.003-04:00

Unbeknownst to us, our township owns a sizable chuck of mountainside just across the way from our house. There was a blurb in the newsletter about a guided tour this morning. We strapped the baby into the yard-sale-purchased backpack contraption and promised the 10 year old some ice cream if he rolled out of bed into pants and shoes and joined us.

The guide and his dog were a little shocked that over 20 folks showed up. He led us up and around a labyrinth of unrestricted (dog, dirt-bike & drinker friendly) trails to abandoned quarry sites, pumping stations and impressive views. In fact this is how cool this place is. The only permit archery hunting and it doesn't even have a name. I asked the guide what the territory was called and he shrugged his shoulder and said "the woods". I was only bothered that I hadn't discovered them early. Well, that and that I didn't think to bring a camera, but I'm sure I'll be up there soon and often.

The trails were no joke. At least not for beginners. Plenty of creeks to cross, loose rocks to negotiate and felled trees to climb. I've been getting tired of sidewalks and playgrounds anyway. This could be the discovery of the summer. I could see spending whole Saturdays up there.

We lasted about an hour and forty-five with the kid. Not bad. I learned that my Redwing's aren't as broken in as I thought. But I also learned that if you get far enough from civilization, you can literally taste the fresh air. I was a boy scout, and have been on plenty of hikes and camping trips. And I spend a lot of time running trails and in parks. But there's a difference when your 100 yards from a highway or when you drive to a trailhead and you're 13. This was way better. Mother nature, isolated and untouched, behind the house next door. Life just got a little better.

I have to go now, and decide between archery gear and a dirt-bike.

Here's Johnny!

2009-04-17T07:00:00.002-04:00

I'm just finishing Steve Martin's Book, Born Standing Up. Towards the end of the second to last chapter he pays tribute to Johnny Carson. He describes him as reserved but gracious. Johnny treated all of his guests according to what they deserved and in such a way that would allow the audience to see their best qualities. He knew how to set someone up and how to bail them out. He was, no surprise, the ultimate host.

In any situation, be aware of when the focus is and isn't on you. And be on the ball when it comes to casting others in the best light. At the same time, be funny and keep things lively. A good host is someone people want to be around. He is likable and magnetic, but more important than that, he is gracious and puts everyone at ease.

At the table or the bar you can't go wrong giving a good lead in. Ask someone to tell that good story not everyone else has heard. Bend the conversation towards common interests. And above all, be composed.

Present

2009-04-16T16:34:00.003-04:00

“Eighty percent of success is showing up.” -- Woody Allen

“The other twenty is being present.” -- me

Imagine a classroom full of fourth graders settling into their desks. The teacher begins to call roll. She plainly rattles off the names of each student, who reply in turn, “Here”, “Here!”, “What?” (giggles) “Present.”

In most aspects of life it pays to be more than just here. Being present, in this case meaning being an active participant in the events, aware of what’s going on, and fully concerned with right now is hugely important. And seemingly easier and easier to get away from these days. Televisions, computers, cell phones, blackberries, even printed pages, mirrors and windows have surfaces that are a portal to being elsewhere. The key is to engage yourself and maintain focus on your tangible surroundings.

Using your senses to hook into everything that’s going on and becoming a concerned observer can make the difference in almost any situation. In your social life, love life, work life, health, even citizen life. Being present is the key to getting what you want or at least understanding and accepting what you’re getting. Or more profoundly, what you are and aren’t giving.

Put life on a clearly defined schedule. Set time to get dressed and do it thoroughly in that time. Set time to read and be invested in it. Give yourself a bed time. Sit down and eat a meal. Start conversations and see them through, but don’t be afraid to excuse yourself, hang up, or walk away in due time. Turn off the TV when your show is over. Take off your hat and coat when you get inside. Watch the sunset, the kids playing and the waves crashing. Be a good host and a great visitor. Be a good boss and a great employee. Be a good father and a great son.

Take the time to...

Listen to someone’s story.

Observe nature.

Play the game.

Explore.

Explain.

Excuse yourself.

Stay until it’s over.

and know when it’s time.

The Good Doctor

2009-04-15T14:11:00.004-04:00

I saw Buy the Ticket, Take the Ride last night. It’s a captivating documentary on the life and death of Hunter S. Thompson.

Despite a life of unbridled adventure an excess, the most fascinating segments dealt with his breakfast routine, sleeping habits and funeral arrangements. He would wake sometime in the afternoon and eat 5 or 6 grapefruits along with several glasses of Chivas. He would regularly stay up and work or talk on the phone till dawn. He lived life entirely on his own terms until the idea of himself outran the reality. The movie actually makes a disturbingly good case for committing suicide in your mid to late sixties. Or at least when there’s nothing more to be done.

Repeatedly throughout the film, people close to him state that despite his reputation and larger than life persona, in the private company of family and friends he was a consummate Southern gentleman. That’s what stuck out to me the most, at least in relation to my current fascinations. He was a man with an insatiable appetite for everything in the realm of guns, booze, drugs, motors, sport, politics and anything where danger and excitement traveled along the same parabola. But when the show was over, he was a kind and giving host and friend, a road man for the lords of karma.

I was also intrigued by the fact that as a budding writer, he used to retype complete books by the likes of Hemmingway and Faulkner. I'd like to give that a try. I can't imagine having that kind of time though. I'll bet it would make me a much better writer, and typist.

Quotes
“There was no time for scholarly details, and, besides, I have always believed that a man can fairly be judged by the standards and taste of his choices in matters of high-level plagiarism.”

“It’s a strange world. Some people get rich and others eat shit and die.”

His Suicide Note
“Football seasons over. No More Games. No More Bombs. No More Walking. No More Fun. No More Swimming. 67. That is 17 years past 50. 17 more than I needed or wanted. Boring. I am always bitchy. No Fun - for anybody. 67. You are getting Greedy. Act your old age. Relax - This won’t hurt.”

I have only read essays and articles of his. After seeing this movie, though, I'm putting at least one novel on my library list.

Backgammon

2009-04-14T16:43:00.001-04:00

The best games are the ones that have a healthy balance of luck and skill. At the same time, it should be something you do for recreation. Some might find Chess to be too great a challenge and Checkers to be too little of one. Nicely situated between those two pastimes is Backgammon. It’s easy to learn and lends itself to repeated playings. My old roommate and I would stay up late into the night, game after game, coming dangerously close to playing for money. That’s where the game goes from casual fare to high stakes wit matching. In fact, that might be the best feature of the game. Like baseball, 5 year old’s can take it up and enjoy it as a group while the big boys can play pretty much the same game with all aspects tuned to their extreme.

First of all, the game just oozes elegance and sophistication. Especially if your playing out of a leather case in a robe and slippers. Even if you seldom have occasion to get it out, the backgammon set is a must own. It’s the perfect companion to conversation and glasses of wine.

Here’s a brief layout of game play:
Set up the board as show. Each player rolls his set of dice and moves pieces according to the numbers rolled. If an opponent has more than one piece on a space, it is blocked. If you land on a space containing one of your opponent’s pieces, you send that one off the board, to start at the beginning. Once you gather all of your pieces in the “home” box, you begin to draw them off the board with your rolls. If you roll doubles, you move twice for each dice. The doubling cube is used at strategic points to raise the stakes of the game against the option of a forfeit.

There are several variations and wrinkles you can employ. But ideally, it’s just a fun way to pass the time and enjoy someone’s company that beats watching a movie.

What a gentleman sounded like...

2009-04-13T15:49:00.003-04:00

Outfitter | Easter Sunday

2009-04-13T00:17:00.002-04:00

Brand Extracurriculars

2009-04-11T07:00:00.002-04:00

A man’s instinctive shopping habits are born out of his hunter roots. While his better half is prone to do the gathering, or combing stores and newspaper circulars for deals and ideas, a man leaves his cave with the intention of bringing home a bison / vacuum cleaner bag / work boots / box of light bulbs / etc. It is not in his nature to become distracted by nuts and berries he passes on the hunt. But wouldn’t he be better off keeping an eye open for useful things while tracking down game?

Lately, when I need or want something, I do a little research on what brand to invest in, go to the proper retailer and make a carefully considered purchase. And while in the purchasing process, I’m often intrigued, but seldom moved to impulse by the random items surrounding the check out counter. “What do you know?” I’ll think “J. Crew sells a watch.” (well documented example)

It got me thinking. I’ve assembled a good set of brand names that I trust and am proud to support. I wonder if they provide similar genre-crossing offerings. Maybe there are hidden treasures in their stores that exhibit the same qualities, but aren’t part of the product line that they are typically known for.

I found a couple of items along those lines. To me they exhibit a repurposed quality. Along the lines of soap boxes turned into race cars, vinyl albums turned into chip bowls, old doors turned into coffee tables, or ice cream trucks turned into A-Team style tanks. It’s a thing made from the core elements of another thing. Or just people who get one thing right, applying the same sensibilities to another product.

Victorinox (pocket knives and watches) makes a shirt with extra gadgets that would come in handy.

Rawlings (baseballs and mitts) makes a “striking” duffel bag that looks like a “safe” bet. (sorry)

Triumph (motorcycles) offers a seriously good looking belt.

Sperry (shoes) has a sail canvas tote bag that is as manly and stylish as they get.

Coleman (coolers and lamps) offers a handsome field watch that is ruggedly chic.

I’m sure there are plenty of other examples of brands with a solid reputation dabbling in related product categories. I came across nice looking messenger bags from Converse, braces from Carhartt, and flatware from Nautica. It seems as though it pays to do a little gathering next time you’re on the hunt.

Green Headwear

2009-04-10T07:00:00.003-04:00

Hats.com is offering an exclusive collection called Green Earth Tartan & Tweed. It uses a custom tartan pattern that ” features a unique tartan pattern. Each color highlights an aspect of Earth’s splendor, as well as draws attention to the environmental perils she faces”. And 10% of the proceeds go to environmental charities to boot.

Hopefully it will catch on and become a way to demonstrate your compassion for nature in a more stylish manner than a faux tie-dyed tee with an illustration of a timber wolf on it. Maybe it will become as trendy as those project (RED) shirts I see at the Gap, but never on people outside of it.

I also have a somewhat selfish motivation for the success of this collection. That handsome chap posing in the Army Cap in the collection banner as well as in the Ivy Cap occasionally on the home page is me.

It’s my one and only venture into the world of modeling. I was spotted by a Bollman Hat Co. executive, while playing a gig. For the sake of disclosure, their photographer is a friend of mine. She approached me about modeling the collection and I naturally (no pun intended) agreed.

Even if I weren’t loosely connected to these hats, I’d still consider them a fine looking lot; more than worthy of a purchase. Don’t be afraid to spread the word and be on the cutting edge of a new cause-inspired trend.

The Brown Fat Furnace

2009-04-09T09:28:00.003-04:00

I’ve had success in weight loss on three separate occasions. My junior year in college, the year before my wedding and this past year. In all three cases, I was physically active and ate carefully. But that behavior was not exclusive to those periods. I’ve had just as much success with dieting and exercise programs as failure. In some cases, I would gain weight as a result of a particular strategy.

I caught a segment on NPR this morning about new research on a substance called brown fat. The New York Times ran the same story. Brown fat is tissue in the body that has the simple function of turning calories into heat, basically a body furnace. It was previously believed to be used by infants, who can’t shiver or throw on an cardigan for that matter, and then it would dissipate. Hence the notion of “losing one’s baby fat”. However, new scanning technology shows that it stays in the body. And may be significant in preventing and controlling obesity.

When I step back with this information in mind and try to find a common thread in my periods of weight loss success, I see one: being cold. In the first two periods I lived in crummy apartments with sketchy heating. In fact both times it was hard to sleep through the night in the winter because I would wake up freezing. Also, my particular exercise regimen in all three instances included being outside, early in the morning. The first time it involved jogging to and from the gym first thing in the morning. And the latter two involved walking or biking to work in the morning. In fact, as the weather got colder, my weight loss accelerated.

Scientist are theorizing that turning down the thermostat a few degrees might be beneficial to weight loss. And while I’m not sure that would be a magic bullet. I can testify that exercising in the cold, like outside, early in the morning, might be your best bet for turning calories into heat instead of yellow or white fat. And maybe even turning that fat into heat as well.

You're not gonna sing for us, Sammy?

2009-04-09T07:00:00.001-04:00

A Friendly Call

2009-04-08T11:09:00.002-04:00

40 Day Improvements

2009-04-07T12:42:00.002-04:00

As I mentioned before, I’ve given up Myspace for Lent. Easter is right around the corner and I am semi-surprised to find myself with little to no desire to pick it up again. I’ll probably log-in at least once to clean up any correspondence I’ve missed, but I probably won’t get back in the habit of using it. It is a bit played out to begin with, but I considered it to be a bad habit that I’ll be glad to break.

Though the 40 days of my moratorium will be ending, I see an opportunity to carry it further. I think I’m going to adopt a bit of Ben Franklin’s self improvement planning, combine it with the 40 day fasting of Christian tradition and elevate myself one long, patient step at a time.

Starting with this Sunday, I’m going to give up swearing through the 22nd of May. This will include, but not be restricted to the big 5. F**k, S**t, B***h, D**k, and P****y. Other relatives of these words will be avoided if possible, a gang of C words come to mind. And some less offensive but similarly distasteful words will be avoided as much as possible. I don’t plan on using substitute words. A friggin’ or a golly doesn’t seem more dignified to me, just lamer. I’ll retain ass, damn, and hell: though, I will try to relegate them to proper context.

It seems that my just barely one year old son is about to start spitting out words. I would prefer they weren’t regurgitated profanity.

I’m not sure what I’ll tackle after this. I’m open to suggestion. I’ve got plenty of standard issue bad habits. I’d like to be rid of them all. I just don’t think I can break them all at once, especially cold turkey.

...Woo Ooh!

2009-04-03T14:11:00.003-04:00

Channeling | Blog Features

2009-04-03T10:39:00.003-04:00

I keep tabs on a number of blogs in search of inspiration. Nobody measures up to Tin Tin, over at The Trad. He’s like the mentor I wish I had. My favorite part of his blog is a regular feature called Friday Belts. He combines a profile of an interesting method for holding up pants and a brand of whiskey to match. Check Out:

Hermes & Rye

A Rob Roy Spur

Single Malts & Stable Belts

The Tiffany Martini

The Original

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first blog I ever got into was David Plotz’s Blogging the Bible. When he wrapped up the Old Testament he inquired if a Christian fellow would be interested in doing the New half. I offered, I even did it on my myspace blog. But I got no reply for a long time, then when I saw an email from him in my inbox I was only slightly disappointed to learn he had turned his blog into a book that I could buy. Um, Dave, I already read it. But thanks for not purging me from your address book, I guess.

One blog that should be a book when it’s finished is 1001 Rules for my Unborn Son.

Dig these:

5. Never be afraid to ask out the best looking girl in the room: You’ll be surprised how often it works.

28. Keep your eye on the ball and follow through. In sports and in life.

96. Don’t show off. Impress.

125. A t-shirt is neither a philosophy nor an advertisement. It’s a shirt. Wear it plain.

190. Don’t Own Rolling Luggage.

232. There is exactly one place where it is acceptable to wear gym clothes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don’t consider myself a protectionist. People are people and business is business. But now and then I like the idea of knowing that something in my hands was put together by people I might have occasion to know. Mike Williams, blogger of A Continuous Lean & The Material Review, has compiled The American List. It’s a listing of stateside manufacturers of apparel, accessories, and accoutrements. It’s worth familiarizing yourself with. So when you need a whatever, you can help out the folks down the street and appreciate what they do.

Marquess of Queensbury Rules!

2009-04-02T12:40:00.002-04:00

Washingtonian Civility

2009-04-01T15:22:00.004-04:00

Augustine Washington sought for his son to be a great man. Indeed, George became one. In advance of that or perhaps because of it, he gave him a handwritten notebook filled with 110 principles. They were translated from a Latin text that Jesuit monks had used for teaching the sons of nobility in the 1500s.

Washington biographer, Richard Brookhiser, restored and expanded upon them in his book, Rules of Civility: The 110 Precepts That Guided Our First President In War And Peace

These rules go beyond matters of etiquette and formality. They are more of a complete code of conduct that an upstanding man follows to impress upon others that he is in full control of himself and his surroundings. I imagine that along with his imposing stature, adhering to these codes made Washington quite a man amongst men. And like a true gentleman of any era, it was his calling to be an inspiring example to those that would follow him.

Here are a few highlights:

1. Every action done in company ought to be done with some sign or respect to those that are present.

10. When you sit down, keep your feet firm and even, without putting one on the other or crossing them

25. Superfluous compliments and all affectation of ceremony are to be avoided, yet where they are due they are not to be neglected.

35. Let your discourse with men of business be short and comprehensive.

47. Mock not nor jest at any thing of importance, break no jests that are sharp, biting, and if you deliver any thing witty and pleasant, abstain from laughing thereat yourself.

49. Use no reproachable language against any one, neither curse nor revile.

63. A man ought not to value himself of his achievements or rare qualities of wit, much less of his riches, virtue or kindred.

82. Undertake not what you cannot perform but be careful to keep your promise.

97. Put not another bit into your mouth till the former be swallowed. Let not your morsels be too big for the jowls.

109. Let your recreations be manful not sinful.

What impressed me most about this set of rules is that it steers clear of any type of dandyism. It doesn’t get bogged down in dress socks and hat tipping. Instead it functions as a guide for a man to keep a solid chin and a firm grip on everything. Like a farmer/soldier/statesman would have to be. Stoic, elegant and self aware.

April Food's Day

2009-04-01T09:35:00.002-04:00

Click here to Donate.

The cardinal virtues are: Faith, Hope, and Charity. I can hardly think of a more gentlemanly action than a charitble contribution. And feeding hungry people could be the most worthy cause. All things are relative, but hunger is hard to deny.

Children's Story

2009-03-31T14:12:00.001-04:00

Motorbike Dreams

2009-03-31T10:13:00.003-04:00

I know nothing about motorcycles. But I don’t know anything about cars either. As the weather warms and the days get longer I feel more and more like I’d rather be on two wheels than four. I’ve been casually working in the idea of getting a motorcycle. My step-son is 11 going on 12 and I’ve stated to him that when he turns 16 I’ll get one and we’ll learn how to ride and maintain it together. Whether his mother exercises a last second veto is another story, but what kind of bike to get is something I can dream about now.

The kid, of course, would be pleased to get a dirt bike. And though it would put a cramp in my idea of commuting to work on it and the two of us taking turns jetting between baseball practices and trips to the drug store, it’s starting to grow on me: If only as an influencing concept.

For a prospective motorcycle guy, I’m not that big a fan of most motorcycles. I hate sport bikes and I’m not really a fan of touring bikes. Ducatis and Harleys don’t interest me in the slightest. So where does that leave me? As I mentioned, I know nothing about motorcycles, so I don’t even know the classification. I believe it's just called Standard or Naked. But these late sixties Triumphs, BSAs, Hondas seem like they would suit me just fine. Not that they would have to be vintage pieces per-say. Something reasonably similar in size and shape would do.

One Step Forward...

2009-03-30T10:25:00.002-04:00

This past weekend was an interesting crossroads in my gentlemanly journey.

Saturday was an opportunity to participate in a prime gentlemanly activity: Helping a friend move.

Most people would employ any and every excuse to avoid this activity. But I look forward to it. It’s an exercise that includes nearly every aspect of gentlemanly living. For one thing, it’s an opportunity to wear ragged jeans, flannel and boots in an appropriate context. There is also a hefty dose of male bonding, modern courtesy / gallantry, and exercise.

I suppose men whose daily work is in the realm of tools, trucks and labor might not get the same thrill from these activities on a Saturday, but when you spend half your waking life in a desk, the prospect can be a little exciting. It can become a confirmation of your manliness. The dirty handed problem solving can appeal to the cave man inside of you.

Sunday, on the other hand, provided a reminder of how far I may have to go to become the grown man I aspire to be. It was the day of my fantasy baseball draft. Though it provided an equally strong dose of male bonding, it was remarkably less manly. By my current standards, it seemed almost juvenile. Hopefully a last major bastion of a suspended post-adolescence.

I think I can still rationalize most of it, as it essentially is a form of sports gambling. And my approach has at least evolved a bit. At this year’s draft I traded a baseball cap and sneakers for a cardigan and Sperrys. I swapped out an elaborately labeled spread sheet for a simple moleskin notebook. And I passed on cans of Coors Light, in favor of Crown Royal on the rocks.

Finally, perhaps feeling as though I had short changed my family on quality time over the weekend, I returned from the fantasy baseball draft with a brand new Wii Fit. It is a very fun way to get some exercise and strengthen your core muscles. And a supremely fun family activity. Though it certainly isn’t how our grandfathers would have rolled. The combination of yoga, step aerobics and bubbly video games could make for the most unmanly cocktail yet.

Bald Lemonade

2009-03-27T15:49:00.002-04:00

When life hands you lemons, you’re left with two options: bitch and whine about the sour taste, or make lemonade with them. So when life hands you baldness, what’s the lemonade?

I suppose it depends on whether you like lemonade or not. Or more importantly if you’re thirsty. Being thirsty is something you don’t really have control over. It’s a natural instinct. So are sexual attraction and initial human perceptions.

An anthropological study* found that “Pattern baldness may signal social maturity, a non-threatening form of dominance associated with wisdom and nurturance.” Meaning women’s baser instincts around choosing a mate rely on baldness to indicate a good potential husband and father. Furthermore, facial hair also indicated sexual potency and dominance. (Supposedly, the Connery on the right is more attractive)

In fact that leads me to believe that men who attempt to hide their baldness are in fact aptly demonstrating to the opposite sex that they do not actually posses the traits that their baldness would subconsciously indicate. Much in the same way women incorrectly assume that men automatically desire thin women, Delilah doesn’t want her Samson out ripping apart lions, destroying temples and slaying Philistines.

I guess it all comes down to embracing the characteristics that come with age as opposed to clinging to your youth. I wouldn’t suggest that men who are losing their hair are lucky. But when life hands you baldness lemons, you have to embrace the thirst quenching possibilities instead of fostering the want of a snack.

*The Evolutionary Significance and Social Perception of Male Pattern Baldness

A Good Plum

2009-03-26T16:16:00.000-04:00

Let’s face it, some fruits are a bit of a crap shoot. You seldom go wrong with apples, bananas and oranges. And I can’t say I’ve ever met a watermelon I didn’t like. But in my opinion, the best fruit varieties are the ones that offer the prospect of a little gamble. Some people can’t stand grapefruit. Perhaps that’s because they stumbled upon a few less than stellar ones to start. With a little persistence you’ll discover that one out of a dozen grapefruits is a magnificent treat. Peaches are hit or miss. Same goes for pears and pineapples to some extent. But by and large, even spotty fruits tend to have a fairly wide margin of error.

But plums offer the greatest thrill. A plum can be a bitter miserable experience. It can be a soaking wet, bland affair. It can even be an awkwardly stiff sensation coupled with a flavor that could be described as unflavored pickle. But every so often, you take a plum in hand, pierce the rubbery skin and hit the jackpot. I would go so far as to say there is no such thing as a good plum. There are only disappointing plums and great plums. When you’re lucky enough to catch one, it can brighten your entire day. A mix of great flavor and beautiful color and the cleanest, smallest most adorable remnant of trash the fruit world has to offer. It almost makes the sticker seem cumbersome.

I just had a good one. It was like finding and unopened Christmas present with my name on it. And it’s put a mildly sticky veneer of contentment on a previously crummy feeling day. It makes me want to send off a salutation of: “... goodbye for now. May your next plum be a good one.”

Endorsements | B M

2009-03-25T07:00:00.001-04:00

Bushmills

Irish whiskey has a lot in common with Scotch. It's just smoother and milder. There aren't nearly as many varieties. In fact there's only 3 distilleries on the whole island to Scotland's 90. One makes Jameson, one a handful of small brands and way up north they make Bushmills. This was my grandmother's brand. I'll have to start calling it grandmother's milk.

Bangers and Mash

The phrase meat and potatoes usually requires a few caveats: Filet and au gratin for instance. But a couple boiled sausage links suspended in a heap of mashed potatoes is a meat and potatoes' meat and potatoes.

Booker T & the MGs

When a rhythm section is this good, who needs a singer. He'd only get in the way. One more B.M.: Brotherhood, man.

5X5 Weight Training

2009-03-24T09:23:00.003-04:00

For several months I’ve been using a weight training program designed for endurance athletes. I used it to suplement my weight loss. It was basically a combination of circuit training and strenght training. I did one set of 12 reps for every muscle group and between every 5 sets I’d do 15 minutes of cardio. I chose it because it seemed like a natural extension of the old school fitness trail I did through the summer. That included a combination of running and calisthenics. The weight program included variations of bench and military presses, lat pull downs, bicep curls, tricep extensions, rows, squats, leg curls and extensions, calf raises and sit ups.

Having reached my primary weight loss goal, I’ve decided to concentrate on building some muscle mass and gaining some strength. My previous weight lifting stints had always been built on an old weight training book my dad bought me when I was a teenager. It outlined programs for different sports and included exercises in 3 sets of 8 to 12 reps.

I’ve just started a new program. It’s a modified version of a power lifting routine. It’s called a 5x5. I took out some of the dead lifting and other dangerous elements and tailored it to something I can do at home and at the gym.

I'm doing:
5 sets of 5 reps of bench press
5 sets of 5 reps of squats
3 sets of 5 reps of military press
3 sets of 5 bent over rows
3 sets of 5 pull ups / chin ups
push ups to fail
V sit ups to fail

What I like about this routine is that it’s not a new method. In fact it’s about as old school as it gets. The height of it’s popularity was in the 1940s, which seems to fit nicely with my jogging, swimming, jump roping, pushup -pullup, medicine ball, all around old school fascinations. It also seems like an ideal change of pace from my last routine. Loading up on exercises that hit lots of muscle groups instead of isolating them. I'll probably end up going back and forth to keep things stimulating and prevent boredom.

Bowling Together

2009-03-23T10:41:00.002-04:00

I have a group of friends that have been close since high school. As we’ve all settled down, gotten married and had kids, we’ve had fewer opportunities to get together. We used to spend an inordinate amount of time together, many of us taking turns as roommates through and after college. We went through phases when we went bowling once a week, that evolved into a weekly poker game and gradually faded away. I had them over to my house for my son’s birthday party. It seems to be that weddings, funerals and children’s birthday parties are the only times we hang out. At the party we set up a poker game for this past Friday. We saw it through and I’m so glad we did. It was a blast.

I’ve given up Myspace for Lent and I have yet to create a Facebook account. I have no intention of doing so anytime soon. I even quit the bar band that I’ve been playing in for the past year and a half. I’ve discovered in the flux of this that a fundamental need for a gentleman is a social capital. Back in the day, when you could conceivably call someone that wasn’t home and not establish contact with them, men needed social organization. They needed regular meetings of their social clubs, poker or bowling games, and various leagues, committees and unions.

Sunday afternoon, I marched with my division of the A.O.H. in the Allentown St. Patrick’s Day Parade. A.O.H. stands for the Ancient Order of Hibernians. An Irish Catholic organization created in 1836 to aid new Irish Immigrants in the United States with integration. It’s a lot like the Lyons, Elks, Knights of Columbus, etc. Most of these groups are populated by older gentleman. Retired guys in need of social interaction, a charitable outlet and a touchstone of cultural pride. I typically avoid the meetings due to all the bickering and arguing. But the events and functions are a lot of fun. Old Irish guys getting drunk, telling fantastic stories and sharing social capitol. Above all, they are true gentleman. They don’t swear or swindle. They give of themselves and they adhere to the old school ways as though they’re called to it by duty.

Perhaps social networking web sites are the modern replacement of these organizations. I for one think that they’re missing a few essential elements. Their a fine way to communicate with people. A more than fair trade off for phones without caller ID or voicemail. But you really should be with people. More than that, you should belong to something. Robert Putnam wrote a book called Bowling Alone that covers the changing social landscape of America. I have not read it yet, but it’s on my radar. He’s also written a book in hopes of starting a movement to rekindle this part of us called Better Together.

Even if you have to start one yourself, join a group or organization. Make a point of regular attendance or events. And garner a little honest, American, hand to hand social capitol. These times are calling for it. Break away from the “Me” generation that has created things like blogging and twittering about yourself. The real way to look and act like our grandfathers is to build a society like the one they belonged to. With bowling and softball leagues, regular poker games, beef & beer dinners and the local social hall, family picnics, hunting & fishing trips, guys with nicknames, and vegetable gardens that create enough green peppers for all the guys in the club.

Bacon sense

2009-03-20T16:41:00.005-04:00

“Fashion is only the attempt to realize art in living forms and social intercourse.”
“If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world.”
-- Francis Bacon

“Sizzle, crackle, pop!”
-- Bacon

I feel as though, fashion and possessions are becoming too big a part of this. So I’m going to dedicate at least 10 posts in a row to matters of etiquette, entertainment and eadibles.

Here’s three pieces of advice:
1. Resolve yourself to have no unqualified opinions. If you haven’t seen a particular film, read a particular book, or listened to the complete contents of a particular album. You can’t have an opinion on it. And don’t be too confident in your opinion until you’ve studied and cultivated it. Even then, don’t offer it unsolicited. “I enjoyed it.” is a fact. “It’s sucked.” is an opinion.

2. When at a diner party or social event, make a point of sitting next to someone you don’t know very well if at all. Initiate a conversation with them. Ask a lot of questions and do a lot of listening.

3. Eat bacon with your breakfast. And if you have time, fry up some potatoes in the leftover grease. But don’t eat either after 11:00 am.

Horseback Riding

2009-03-18T07:00:00.000-04:00

Pictured above is a trophy I won when I was 12 years old. It was my first year at Camp Cadet. Between doing pushups, vigorously cleaning our bunks and marching all over the place, we were exposed to all kinds of military and law enforcement activities. We fired guns, conquered group obstacles, and saw numerous demonstrations from a Bomb Squad, S.W.A.T. team, Search and Rescue, the Secret Service, etc. One such activity was horseback riding. We each got a chance to ride a horse around a track and some were given a chance to take it through a few obstacles.

Being a city kid, I don't think I'd ever seen a horse let alone ridden one. I paid careful attention to the instructors advice and at the end of the week he saw fit to bestow upon me my cherished sixth place trophy. It may not be very impressive, but it was my first trophy that wasn't simply for my participation in a team sport.

I don't believe I've had many if any occasion to ride a horse again, and to be honest, it's not on the top of my to do list. But I did gain an appreciation for working horses and a little of what it takes to control them. You're more likely to see cops on bicycles than on horses these days, unless you're at a parade or a scottish soccer match. It almost seems like a throwback to a different time when you do see one. The men atop a working horse become faceless. They almost become and accessory to the elegant nature of the animal. Being on horseback and on official business is a very transformative thing. John Wayne once said that he had two acting styles: On a horse and standing. I actually think that makes a lot of sense. A mounted man is almost an instant gentleman. Even a grizzled filthy cowboy has an air of regality when he's on a horse.

Probably the only thing I learned from my award winning horseback stint was that being on a horse requires one to mind his posture and put his focus on the beast beneath him. If you want to be effective and in control, you have to be gentle but firm. You have to take charge but do it with civility and grace. And that is how a gentleman should do just about everything, on horseback or standing.

Bicycle Commuting

2009-03-17T08:52:00.003-04:00

When gas was over $4 and I was over 260 pounds, I took up biking to work. I loved it. I did it through most of last summer and fall. I was able to gain some weight loss momentum and useful experience. Then I ran into a trifecta of obstacles as well as a slick patch of grating. It was getting more and more challenging to get the kids ready and dropped off and still be able to leave with enough time to get to work. Plus it was getting colder. Then I had a nasty fall and suddenly daylight savings time kicked in and the bike was hung up in the basement for the winter.

Today I got back on the bike. I was waiting for good rainfall to wash out some of the salt and cinders. What I got was enough rain to make the roads wet. I was a bit tentative, but I got to work in less than 22 minutes. My best time last year was over 17. But I got there safe and sound and a little more emboldened. And I was able to get the baby to the sitter, grab a shower at the office and got in my desk right on time.

The way home is much harder, but I’m not too worried. I feel great right now. Riding to work has a lot of benefits, provided you don’t live 40 miles away. Remarkably when you factor in parking and everything it only takes me 3-5 more minutes to bike than to drive. And when I get here I feel awake and invigorated. Biking is very stimulating both physically and mentally. You’re forced to be more alert and the trip becomes more like an adventure than a chore. Driving is very passive, especially when it’s a repetitive commute. Not to mention the gas money, wear and tear on your car and calorie trade you’re saving.

This is what I'm riding: a KHS Flite250 with some clip on TT bars and flat pedals.

Corned Beef & Cabbage

2009-03-16T07:00:00.001-04:00

They say Irish cuisine is an oxymoron. And I'd hardly disagree. One thing I think they do get right is corned beef and cabbage. Here's an easy enough recipie. My mom makes it every year for St. Patrick's Day and it's one of my favorites.

It's actually not really and Irish dish. It's an Irish-American tradition. Most original Irish immigrants were very poor and corned beef is a cheaper substitute for traditional irish bacon. The meat itself was borrowed from their Jewish neighbors in New York. But the technique for this meal is very Anglo. They boiled it together with cabbage, turnips and potatoes. It may not sound all that delicious and it may be something of an acquired taste. My Polish-Italian wife can't stand it for example. But I'd eat it three times a week if I could. I like to top it off with a little apple cider vinegar.

I like it very hot and awfully wet.

Faces

2009-03-15T09:51:00.000-04:00

Reversible Bow Ties

2009-03-14T07:00:00.000-04:00

I was tooling around Etsy helping a friend find a pair of cufflinks when I stumbled upon the seller Pinch & Pull Neckwear. All of the offerings were great and reasonably priced. But what really caught my eye were a pair of reversible ones. They were even at a discount. They came in the mail the other day and they're fantastic.

I did discover that you have to flip it under your collar and start with one of each side facing out to get them to sync up. But it's not too tricky. They were also much taller than my other bow ties. At first that made me a little nervous. But surprisingly a more substantial bow tie is just what the doctor ordered. Initially it made me feel like an old fashioned bar tender or poker dealer. But before long it was a more natural size than the Brooks Brothers bow I picked up a few weeks ago.

Dressing The Man

2009-03-13T07:00:00.000-04:00

It turned out that what I didn’t know about dressing myself could fill a book. Luckily, that book was “Dressing the Man” by Alan Flusser, and it was at my local library. This book is the bible of men’s clothes. Or at least the Old Testament of men’s clothes.

As a graphic design student I was told repeatedly that you had to know what the rules where before you could break them successfully. I ended up renewing it from the library. As I got deeper in, I wanted to go back and cross reference the photos and the chapters subjects. It would make an excellent text book for a class in personal and timeless style. I seriously took notes out of it. If I had bought it, I might have broken out the hi-liter and color tab stickers.

For the sake of criticism, it left a little to be desired in the casual department. Not that dressing down should be the goal, but I’m sure there is a method for success in that spectrum as well. Regardless of your typical formality requirements. It’s a must for any man who cares enough to pick out his own clothing. And would like to avoid future utterances of “Honey, does this go?”

If you’ve got a nephew or godson in need of a graduation present, this is the ticket. I only wish I had read this book before I ever went on a job interview or got married. I want to go to The Men’s Warehouse with a megaphone and preach from it to people going in the store.

Diner

2009-03-12T07:00:00.001-04:00

I was trying to figure out exactly what Mickey Rourke was coming back to. So I rented Diner.

Barry Levinson's screenplay for Diner was nominated for an Academy Award. The story is set in 1959. The movie came out in 1982. And for what it's worth, is a remarkable likeness for the lifestyle of me and my friends in the late 90s - Early 2000s. Levinson does a fantastic job of capturing the spirit of that phase of life between school and the rest of your life. As I watched it the other day I could easily substitute myself and each of my close buddies for the various characters in the film.

Given my reccent sartorial fascinations, I was caught up in the wardrobe. Great stuff. The music is out of site as well. If someone made this movie and set it in 1999 it would be a sorry sight. They'd have to trade out the suit and ties for carpenter jeans and sweatshirts and replace the Carl Perkins and Bobby Darin with Sugar Ray and Jay-Z.

On a related note, I gave my son the nickname Boogie. It was for reasons completely unrelated to this film. And although I wouldn't be very pleased if it led him to become like Mickey Rourke's character in this move, I wouldn't be completely disappointed either.

Outfitter | Casual Friday

2009-03-11T07:00:00.000-04:00

I feel like an ass posting a picture of myself. But I like to see what other dudes are wearing so I also feel like a hypocrite. As a gesture of encouragement to other similarly style minded gentlemen to do the same, here's exhibit A in the states case against my overgrown self image.

And the most important lesson I've learned. No outfit is complete without shoes.

The Permanent Playoff Beard

2009-03-10T07:00:00.001-04:00

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”
-- Teddy Roosevelt

In high school I was required to shave every day, under penalty of hepatitus. (If you came to school muzzled, you were given a demerit and sent to the washroom in Father Burkhart’s office to shave with a dull community bic and a bar of soap. Catholic education at its best).

I spent my college career in a goatee. Now that I’m a husband and parent, it’s a full beard. Though I should qualify full as meaning it connects across my face. Its fullness as relating to thickness is a half step above scraggly. (In my beard’s defense, it did get me a modeling gig for hats.com). I feel that it suits me. At least right now. Before it’s all said and done, I’m sure I’ll go through a solo mustache phase and a Grizzly Adams period. Probably ending full circle as a clean shaven grandpa. That’s what my dad has done.

The current facial fancy can best be described as a permanent playoff beard. Not really styled, but somewhat defined. It’s about 4-6 weeks of growth, trimmed biweekly and uniformly. The main battle is with the borders on the upper cheek and neck. But it’s essence is a statement of beardly distinction. It says, I’m not a pretty boy with George Michael stubble or a trendy hair sculpture, nor am I a bushy bearded lumberjack. I have control over this thing, but I allow it to be itself. Like a dog on a retractable collar, free... to an extent.

Traditional thinking claims that a man with a beard is hiding something. These days, I think a clean shaven man without occupational restrictions is hiding the fact that he can’t grow a beard. Just like a man with a shaved head isn’t fooling anyone. I’m inclined to embrace my folliclular distinction. Sure I’m losing my hair, sure my beard is a little patchy, wanna make something of it. I’ve got plenty of hair on my chest. Do you, Suzy?

Channeling | part one

2009-03-09T07:00:00.001-04:00

Intro: My son is about to turn one. He’s learning to walk and talk. And he’s inspiring me to be a better person and to be a full-fledged grown man. He inspires me to be in shape. He inspires me to read more. He inspires me to inspire him. In an effort to glean a little coolness and knowledge on the subject, I’m cruising various blogs and internets. You can see them on the right. But in case you don’t care to, here are highlights.”

Quoting: The Trad

“I was reminded that Fast Food restaurants in North Carolina share a similarity with Full Service gas stations in New Jersey in that neither are accurate descriptions.”

“Martinis have a well deserved reputation as being dangerous. Just like women’s breasts...one’s not enough and three’s too many.”

“I deep six’ed the Canada Dry Club Soda and now use Perrier or San Pelligrino. Look, there’s not a lot of booze in this so you may as well do it right and enjoy it. Kind’a like sex after you’re 40.”

Picturing: Beard Revue

Capturing: A Time To Get

WWAGD

2009-03-08T07:00:00.000-04:00

Regardless of your religious inclinations, Jesus is a fine example for a gentleman. But let's face it, there's a somewhat limited syllabus. He never had kids or a job. And He never went on a date. Even if you're swept up in Davinci Code theories, there's no demonstration of how he dealt with it.

So if you're in a challenging situation at work or you're at a loss dealing with your child, think to yourself, what would Andy Griffith do?

Andy lives in a world where everyone around him is making a mess of things and he's the cool head that's there to help them out. He's the very essence of a gentleman. Not only that, but he's got impeccable patience, kindness, common sense and wisdom. He's the strait man surrounded by goofs. And in my estimation, that's a gentleman in a nutshell. Wit and wisdom play best when you've got the high ground in personality. Be smooth, do good, exercise patience and be like a small town sherif. Be in charge of the situation but be mindful of kind justice. And like both Jesus and Andy, be an example to Opie and the rest of Mayberry as well.

You should go to church every Sunday. But you should probably tune into TV Land once a week to watch an episode of the Andy Griffith Show too. It's only a half hour.

Regimental NATO Watchband

2009-03-07T07:00:00.000-05:00

As I mentioned before. I recently upgraded (incrementally) from a crappy digital watch from Wal-Mart to a serviceable analog watch from Target. See here. I have no complaints about the watch itself. It’s served me well in the pool and I haven’t gotten sick of the styling yet. But the strap is another story. For one thing it gave me a rash. I got in the bad habit of wearing it to bed and in the shower. The bigger problem is that my wrist seems to be sized halfway between two notches. It’s either uncomfortably tight or it’s dancing all over the place when I run.

I fully intended to experiment with watch bands when I bought it. Mostly for style considerations, but also because I liked the nylon strap on my digital model. Though not the velcro and empty space left by the fold back. Six months into being a watch wearer, I feel confident that it’s worth more investment.

I think I’m going to try a NATO strap. At first I was just going to order a solid black one, then I stumbled upon the James Bond design and then on to various collegiate and UK military regimental stylings. smartturnout.com has a good selection. Almost too good. I want to order four or five of them and start a liberal rotation. I’m a little wary of breaking rules about not being a member of the specific regiments and school alumni, but I think I can rationalize and repurpose their color scheme for schools and and institutions I am affiliated with. I’m not sure where to start though. The 007 is sweet.

Changing and setting up the somewhat novel strap should be a fun thing to learn and I’m looking forward to having a subtle conversation piece of flair on my person.

Super Duper

2009-03-06T07:00:00.000-05:00

Dueling Pistols

2009-03-05T07:00:00.000-05:00

Some gentlemanly possessions are near essential. Others border on extraneous. It really depends on your interests and tendencies. Some might consider a tennis racquet or a fishing rod to be absolute staples. Some might live their whole life without holding either and still be suitable gentlemen.

Still, a gentleman should be prepared for anything. He might only use a pair of needle nose pliers once in his lifetime, but it’s still a good idea to keep them in his tool box.

Nowadays it’s unlikely that a gentleman would need to challenge someone to a duel. One way or another we’ve phased that aspect out of civilized life. But you never know. Perhaps someday it will come back into fashion. Maybe it will combine aspects of paint ball and American Gladiators. Two chaps reach and impasse in an argument and decide to settle it by donning protective eye wear, walking ten paces, turning and shooting tennis-ball-sized paint pellets at each other. Just hard enough to leave a nasty welt and ruin a suit.

Until we get to that point you can probably get away with filling the space on your shelf reserved for dueling pistols with a croquet set, falconry equipment or a work-in-progress ship in a bottle. It really depends on what tickles your fancy. You have to admit, though, that it would be pretty clutch if an associate of your’s challenges another to a duel and proceeds to ask “Does anyone have a set of matched pistols?”. and you come out with “As a matter of fact....”

In the meantime, I’m gonna go add Barry Lyndon to my Netflix que.

Argyll & Sutherland

2009-03-04T07:00:00.000-05:00

... is an infantry regiment of the British Army within the Scottish Division. Their regimental color tie is, in my opinion, the perfect tie. I've seen them here and there, most recently around the neck of my company's CFO. That day, I spent my lunch break at the thrift shop and found one. It was a little beat up and not of the best quality to start with. But it was worth a buck to try it out.

Now I'm searching for a good deal on a nice one. Something on par with but not necessarily Ben Silver or Brooks Brothers. Speaking of BB, they have a gorgeous A&S bow tie that I'm fighting very hard not to order from their web site as I write this.

The style's not going anywhere, and sooner or later somebody is gonna be going out of business or just need to clear out some inventory. I'll just have to keep my eyes open.

Happy 50th Mr. Glass

2009-03-03T09:00:00.003-05:00

The radio in my car is tuned exclusively to Public Radio. I bounce back and forth between WHYY and XPN. On the weekends, I try to time my errands with the This American Life. It's a total driveway show. Meaning if I get home before it's over, I end up sitting in the driveway throught the end of the segment. I have my iTunes set to automatically download the show. If I'm making a long trip, like down to the shore, I listend to an episode or two that I missed.

Ira Glass is the host of the show. He introduces the segments and conducts a brief interview at the beginning to set up the theme. His radio voice is kind of the Anti-Limbaugh. Meek, gentle, unassuming and the essence of geek-chic.

He seems like an old friend. I briefly subscribed to Showtime in what seemed like a personal favor. He's high on the list of famous persons I'd like to invite to my home for diner. And he almost makes me wish my vision would start to go so I could start wearing a pair of glasses like his. In a nutshell, Ira is smart people cool. And as a gentleman, he's beyond exemplary. He borders on cliche. To me, a slim, bookish, hipster gentleman is better defined as an Ira Glass type.

He turns 50 today. On the surface, I find it hard to believe. For some reason I can't really imagine that he's a day over 30. But it goes to show you that there's hope out there for people getting old gracefully that aren't classicaly handsome movie stars. At the very least you should be an literati radio star.

Porridge

2009-03-02T07:00:00.002-05:00

Irish oatmeal (not oatmeal with Jameson in it) is actually a hard kernelly version of traditional oatmeal. It has more fiber and protein that traditional rolled oats. It's sometimes referred to as Scotch oats or steel cut oats. You can find it in the organic or health food section of the grocery store, though I prefer to get it at the farmer's market.

If you try to cook it like regular oatmeal it takes forever. Which can be prohibitive on a normal workday. What the Irish do with it is make porridge. My brother did a semester abroad in Ireland. And much to the chagrin of his football coaches, lost a ton of weight eating it and walking hills every day.

To turn steel cut oats into porridge, combine 4 cups of milk to 1 cup of oats with a little salt, mix and put it in the fridge overnight. (You can add more or less milk or even parts water depending on how thick or runny you like it). In the morning, bring to a boil and stir regularly for 5 minutes. I like to throw in some sliced bananas or raisins. It's a better move than granulated sugar and is just as effective in sweetening it up. Sometimes I'll sprinkle a little granola on top as well.

This is a hardcore filling breakfast. It's good for people getting over an illness and a great breakfast for the day of a long distance running race.

Mid-Day Trot

2009-03-01T07:00:00.000-05:00

I suppose it’s official, I’m a runner. It dawned on me when I was having a conversation about running with another runner in the locker room at work. I’m not ashamed of it. It’s just that I had sort of seen myself as a person trying to lose weight and the activities related to that didn’t really take on their own properties. But what can I do, I’m addicted to it. I ran Friday over my lunch break in the rain for goodness sake.

I don’t know about a runner’s high. But there is something going on. Once I’m about 20 or 30 minutes into it, I feel more compelled to keep going than to stop. In fact, reaching the destination or running out of time is kind of a bummer. But after that brief withdraw there is a fantastic sensation. I feel like a million bucks. I guess that qualifies as a runner’s high. Some endorphin related thing.

I especially like doing it in the middle of the day. There’s a nice, restart quality to it. If you’ve ever seen Burn After Reading, George Clooney’s character has a similar compulsion. There’s a lot to dislike about that character, but he is oddly endearing. I feel a kinship with his beardedness too.

Anyway, I went through a phase of interval running. (Changing pace on a rhythm) and a alternating between intense and moderate days using a heart monitor. Without a race to train for, I’m kind of just enjoying running at a nice pace. I’d call it a trot. Like the rate a horse would clip-clop along. Faster than a jog, not quite all out running. I’d rate paces something like...

Amble
Walk
Shuffle
Jog
Trot
Run
Sprint

There are a lot of useful things you can buy as a runner. You can get by without the heart rate monitor. If you don't plan on getting addicted or live in a warm climate, you might be able to get by without a good hat and gloves. You won't regret lined running shorts, but they're not necessary. The one thing you should definitely invest in is good shoes. For starters, get professionally fitted. If you can find a good runner's store, they will watch you run, make assessments and put you in shoes that will make a big difference.

I'm by no means an expert at this point, but I feel I can offer advice to the aspiring novice. Remember to stretch, stay hydrated and above all be patient. Don't expect to be able to cover 10 miles on the first day. Even if you have some running experience. Your heart and lungs, as well as all the muscles, tendons and ligaments in your body need to be eased into it. Start by going back and forth between walking and jogging. Work at a pace that you can do for 30 minutes to an hour. It's no good to hit the ground at full speed and pack it in after 5-8 minutes.

Duogram

2009-02-28T07:00:00.002-05:00

A few posts ago I mentioned that I was interested in developing my own monogram, like Roger Thornhill in North By Northwest. I envisioned that I’d have it embroidered on a set of handkerchiefs and pretty much affix it to any custom made articles and appropriate future purchases.

When I started thinking about it I had another idea. My son’s first birthday is coming up. I previously wanted to start a tradition of giving him Christmas gifts that were quality man things he could use for the rest of his life. A valet tray, watch, belt, briefcase, etc. But I though better of it. Christmas is about toys, so I bought him blocks and a wooden truck. (along similar lines, but more baby appropriate).

My new idea was to also create a monogram for him as a first birthday gift and have it embroidered on a set of handkerchiefs. A simple enough place to start a tradition of manly accoutrement birthday gifts. I’ll need to come up with 18 or 21 things to have marked, but I have time to work on that. For right now, I’m thinking of things like a belt buckle, a watch band, a pocket knife, a money clip / wallet, a shoe horn, or a key chain. And down the road a golf bag, bar kit, lighter or brief case, culminating with a suitcase for him to pack it all up and move out. (just kidding). The more I think about it, the more nifty ideas I have: Brass buttons for a blazer, a club tie, a tool box, or a shoe shine kit. I’m also open to suggestions if you care to contribute.

Anyway, here’s where I’m at.

I chose Akzidenz-Grotesk (Light Condensed) as the font and adjusted it somewhat. It’s regarded as the first widely used sans-serif font. Dating back to 1896. The font Helvetica was created as an improved version of Akzidenz-Grotesk. So I feel it says something about being on the edge or modern and classic. As well as taking something standard back to its roots, which is kind of what this whole project is about. With the styling I tried to reflect a little Celtic flavor to demonstrate our heritage. (this should explain the similarity to the University of Notre Dame’s logo). The symbols reflect the Saints, John, Patrick and Peter. But I’m not crazy about their overall effect so I’ll probably end up losing them.

Originally I did something very similar to Thornhill’s mark. But I discovered that three unconnected letters is actually referred to as a cypher. A monogram is technically three letters that are interconnected and form one symbol.

Boom Boom Boom Boom

2009-02-27T22:00:00.000-05:00

Peter Gunn

2009-02-27T07:00:00.002-05:00

Before Monk and Magnum, before Rockford and Columbo, there was a television private investigator that set the standard. Peter Gunn was a smooth son of a bitch. Hard boiled like Spade and Marlowe, but cool as ice and dressed as dapper as Draper.

When I named my son Peter, my dad went out and bought me the first 2 seasons of the show on DVD. My step-son and I watched them intently, one episode after another. We were captivated. They say that cat Shaft is a bad mother f*#@er, but he’s got nothing on Gunn. He can go toe to toe from theme song to right hook. He digs jazz, has a gorgeous lady, a flawless look, and a steel persona. TV detectives typically fall neatly into the grizzled gumshoe, jet-setting playboy or the quirky character categories. Peter Gunn is his own line: Hipster bad-ass.

Starring Craig Stevens and produced by Blake Edwards, Peter Gunn stands up pretty well. If I were remaking the show, I’d keep the music, the clothes and the black and white. It has an almost timeless quality. And the title character is every bit as timeless. Tough as nails and smooth as silk. A true gentleman who knows how to get things done without shorting refinement. In my opinion, he’s the closest American counterpart to James Bond. Theme song and all.

M16

2009-02-26T07:00:00.003-05:00

When my brother returned from Iraq, one of his assessments of the experience was particularly interesting. He said that life would be so much simpler if you could carry an M16 all the time. He went on to elaborate on all the incidental benefits of being in possession of a loaded M16. It can open locked doors, clear traffic, enhance communication, and help maintain focus.

I think the fact that it’s been the primary weapon for our military and other militaries around the world for 45 years is a testament to it’s design. If you consider all the technological advancements made in that span of time, it’s a marvel that it hasn’t been replaced. From all the GI-Joe I watched as a kid, I would have assumed that some variety of laser gun would be prevalent by now. Even still, the versatility and function of an M16 still holds up. Some may point to an AK as a major rival. And the simplicity of it’s design is also quite striking. But, sometimes spraying bullets in a general direction isn’t the ideal procedure.

My uncle Dave was a big time gun enthusiast. Before he died, he took me and my brother to an outdoor shooting range and we fired off rounds from a .357 Magnum, an antique Russian riffle and a few other guns. But squeezing the trigger on his M16 was a revelation. It honestly felt like an extension of my arms. It was extremely comfortable, light and responsive. And I was surprised at how accurate I was with it, especially compared to the .357. I would go so far as to say I felt more complete holding one. Like a knight with a sword or a king with a scepter, ready for action.

Though I can’t justify owning one. And in fact strongly discourage it. I do recommend trying one out. You’ll fall in love and wonder how you’ll get on with the rest of your life without it.

Dimple

2009-02-25T07:00:00.001-05:00

I’ve heard that you can distinguish the truly classy from the gussied up slobs by their shoes. It’s a detail that posers tend to overlook. I admit that I’m guilty of it. It makes me feel like I’m wearing a costume sometimes. Another detail that I think demonstrates real sartorial know-how is the tie dimple. For a long time I’d get them by accident or mold them after the fact, but the more I learn about how to make a good one the more I realize that it takes experience and practice. Two things you can’t get if you only wear a tie a few times a year.

For one thing a really good dimple is a sign of a really good tie. A woven silk tie of high quality will seem like a tight spring when dimpled. Ready to burst off your chest. Also, if you consistently wear a tie with a dimple, it will build a fabric memory and will start to do it on it’s own eventually.

I’ve often formed one after the fact, pinching and molding until a fake dimple appears. But a fake dimple doesn’t last. The tie knows. Most novices will tell you that the key is to pinch the tie as you tighten it. That’s somewhat effective but lacks the impact of a true dimple. You can even by a clever little product called The Dimpler that acts like a rippled letter opener. Though, it creates more of a tie vagina than a proper dimple. The key to a real one is hand position.

The tendency is to hold the knot like a screwdriver and push it up to your face. The trick is to hold the front panel between your thumb and four fingers like a flute. Gently pull down on the center of the tie while you move it up your neck by pulling on the back panel with your other hand. See the gent in step 4 of the Half Windsor demo from the Brooks Brothers web site.

Trail Blazer

2009-02-24T07:00:00.001-05:00

I’ve scaled back my wardrobe building considerably. For one thing, I’m continuing to lose weight. I’d like to see how far I can get before I buy more clothes that won’t fit in two months. Also, the seasons are about to change. I own zero pairs of shorts and only a handful of short sleeved items.

In the meantime, I’m carefully constructing a wanted items list that includes a Brooks Brothers white OCBD, a pair of Sperry Top-Siders, madras shorts, and a summer driving cap. I’m always looking for sunglasses, ties, socks, hats, shoes and other size fixed items.

By the end of the year I’d like to add a suit or two as well as some personalized items for which I might decide to go the bespoke route. Among those items are a pair of bold patterned but muted color tartan trousers. I’m not crazy about black watch or Stewart and those two appear to make up 95% of the selection out there. It might be fun to search for a hunk of fabric that I could have made into trousers as well as a few accessories, like a tie, hat band, vest, etc. Another item that I’m more excited and nervous about is a blazer. Not just any blazer though. A hunter green blazer. You see, I have hazel eyes. They change day to day, sometimes they’re almost entirely green. And I’ve noticed that when I wear my olive green work shirt or hunter green BB sweater I get a lot of compliments. Of course they’re hard to find. It might be the perfect excuse to delve into bespoke clothing. Touch it up with a monogram and have it cut to perfection. I’m getting excited just thinking about it.

These two offerings from Orvis are handsome in their own right, but not precisely what I'm imagining. Something about halfway between in color and texture. Not exactly a country club thing, but not quite a hunting jacket either. I wonder if I'll be able to name it if it comes out nice.

Pitchers and Catchers

2009-02-23T07:00:00.001-05:00

All weekend it was cold and windy. But Saturday was baseball tryouts for my step-son. His old mitt had endured 5 seasons and had held up pretty well. It was the trips to the beach that did it in though. Saltwater and sand were not part of the design plan. So this season, I promised him a new glove.

With the baby in tow, we braved the bitter wind on Friday night and went to the Rawlings Outlet Store. We sorted through dozens of mitts. It was a bit of a process. You see, he's a lefty. And there weren't many left handed mitts under $300. We found a nice 12.25 inch pitchers glove that seemed versatile enough to use in the outfield. It was a blemished item, marked down to $40 from $100. That pretty much sealed the deal. I was prepared and willing to spend around $100. So everyone's a winner.

We had a little over 14 hours until try-outs. So we rubbed in a little glove oil, placed a ball in the pocket and wrapped it in rubber bands. The next morning we stepped out into the unfriendly weather to work it in a little. A little warm up, some long tosses and a few dozen pitches from the wind up and we were in business.

The report form try-outs was roundly positive. And Sunday afternoon we ventured out into more bitter cold and wind for another extended round of snaps and pops. I can't put my finger on how this relates to being a gentleman. But there's something to be said for the smell of oiled leather, a little strain on the shoulder and that sweet crackling thud of a hard toss stopped just short of your chest.

Pocket Squared

2009-02-22T07:00:00.003-05:00

The main thrust of this blog is to document my exploration of refinement. I'm trying to examine every aspect of life and when it appears that I'm defaulting to an immature or crude way of doing things, I research and upgrade. Right now I'm half way through Alan Flusser's "Dressing The Man". Each chapter is a revelation.

At the outset I began wearing a sport coat and tie as much as possible and being influenced by Mad Men and other bloggers, I took to sporting a pocket square. I stocked up on some traditional linens and I've been combing thrift shops and department stores to ad some fun and variety.

For the past few days I've had a cold. I've been congested and blowing my nose around the clock. The first day, I pulled tissues out of the box on my desk one after another and all but ignored the handkerchief in my front pocket. The next day I called upon it but once it had been used once I stuffed it in my front pocket, but that made accessing my keys and cell phone a pain. It even muffled the ring and caused me to miss a call. On the third day, I grabbed two before leaving the house. Stuffed one in my jacket pocket and the other in my back trouser pocket where I used to keep my wallet before I switched to a money clip.

Not only does this reinforce the case for money clips, but it's a top notch move that I plan on continuing. In fact there's a precedent for the two handkerchiefs. A fully equipped gentleman always has "one for blowin'" and "one for showin'". This also frees up the display square to be offered to a lady or whipped out in an emergency without fear of sharing your snot and sweat.

In regards to style there is an art to choosing and folding your daily pocket square. Not wanting to get into the whole thing. I've picked up on a few rules that I'll share. A pocket square should not match your tie or your shirt, but it should compliment them both. Sort of like the rug that really ties the room together. And like tie knots, there is a time and a place for each method of folding and stuffing a pocket square. It should reflect your mood. You can be Don Draper (tight and in control), Fred Astaire (Puffed and with flair), Cary Grant (Coy and slightly skewed), The Duke of Windsor (Carefully staged) or Gary Cooper (just stuffed in there). Take note of how each of them positions their handkerchief and how it relates to what you know or assume about each of them. You can also bet that each of them has another one stashed somewhere. Depending on their personality, it might be in their back pocket, breast pocket, front jacket pocket or as debonair as stuffed inside their jacket sleeve.

This is my typical pocket arrangement:
Front Right Trouser - Money Clip
Front Left Trouser - Cell Phone
Back Right Trouser - Usable Handkerchief
Front Right Jacket - Keys
Front Left Jacket - Pocket Knife
Outside Breast Pocket - Show & Share Handkerchief
Inside Left Breast Pocket - Pen and Notebook
Inside Right Breast Pocket - iPod

Needless to say this is how a man carries on without a purse and why a sport coat is a necessity.

Motel Blues

2009-02-22T06:59:00.001-05:00

Black in Red

2009-02-21T07:00:00.002-05:00

I live more or less between two breweries, Yuengling and Stoudt’s. Each produces a fine assortment of beers. In the thick of winter, when the evenings are cold and dark, I prefer to enjoy beers that match the season. On top of that, I like them to be heavy and sweet. I bear no grudge against Guinness. It is, after all, an icon of alcoholic beverages. It’s uniqueness is paramount, but sometimes it’s nice to have a thick and dark pint that’s a bit more like typical beer. For my taste, you can’t beat this selection of red labeled, tasty beverages.

Yuengling Porter is a gem. I’m sure it’s a bit hard to find outside of the region, but a few local establishments have it on tap. This beer has a more popular incarnation as half of a Yuengling Black & Tan. It’s a premixed counterpart to the Guinness - Harp tradition.

Fat Dog (Imperial Oatmeal Stout) from Stoudt’s (that can get confusing) is also recommended. Probably even harder to find than Porter, it almost resembles candy flavored coffee when you smell it. And it goes down just as smooth. I have to admit, I’m probably only partial to this one because I have an overweight black Labrador at home.

Mackeson Triple Stout is the best of the bunch. I used to frequent a pub that had bottles of this stuff and it was my bread and butter for a long time. The last time I was there the bartender claimed to have never even heard of it. I even had to petition my local take out place to invest in it. I could hardly complain when he charged me $15 for a six pack because that might have been the only one he sold. By the time I finished it, spring had rolled around and this is not what I would call a warm weather beverage.

Photos lifted from Flickr

Shamrock Shakes Are Back

2009-02-20T07:00:00.002-05:00

It's the green kryptonite that makes Superman weak. And coincidentally it's the green McDonald's milk shake that does me in as well. It always catches me off guard. One day the sign says something innocuous. "Help Wanted" or "Big Macs 2 for $4". Then my eye is caught by "Shamrock Shakes Are Back". I swear they must come out a week earlier every year. Before I know it they'll be available before Christmas and be called Holly Shakes.

But I've been a good boy this year. Between January of 2008 and this week I've lost over 100 pounds. Seriously. The real trick will be keeping it off. But in the short term I feel I can treat myself to one deliciously minty dessert. Maybe a small or a medium just to be on the safe side. I'll give myself till the end of the month. If I can hold or drop my weight between now and March 1st. I'll stop and get one on the way home from work.

To mark the occasion, I'll wear this shirt and socks combination. I just can't resist.

I'll have to make sure not to wait too long. One year, when I was living in Hoboken and my brother was going to school on Staten Island we got drunk at the Hoboken St. Patrick's Day Parade. Which incidentally was a full week before the holiday. We stopped at the McDonalds on Washington Street to get Shamrock Shakes. They told us they had already stopped selling them, on March 10th. My poor brother's birthday no less. Luckily I had already had at least a dozen by then. Maybe that's why I ended up with 100 pounds to lose.

1. Down

2009-02-19T07:00:00.001-05:00

I usually go for a jog over my lunch break. But yesterday was cold and rainy so I decided to skip it. To fill the time at my desk, I decided to give the daily crossword puzzle a try. I usually end up filling in a handful and giving up. But for the sake of my gentlemanly development, I’m committed to trying new things that seem refined and sophisticated. I planned on devoting the full hour and perhaps taking it home with me if I came up short.

I enlisted the help of my cubicle mate for a couple answers and consulted with google to shore up a few hunches. We ended up finishing in plenty of time. I even conquered the Jumble and most of the 3-star Sudoku puzzle before lunch was over.

In addition to a couple helpful cruciverbalist tricks regarding abbreviations, plurals and tense, I learned that I like crosswords. It’s a stimulating, but soothing activity. And it’s challenging enough to provide a sizeable sense of accomplishment when you complete one. What I like most about it is that it calls on several different aspects of intelligence at once. It’s like playing Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune at the same time.

There’s a scene in Dan in Real Life where his large vacationing family, upon fetching two newspapers, scrambles into teams of boys and girls and proceed to compete in a crossword puzzle race. I can’t imagine any family or even loose association of mine having that combination collective intellectualism and competitive spirit, but it seemed like a lot of fun. Even just doing one as a group without the race seems like a lot of fun. I’ll have to try to make that happen someday.

Either way, crossword puzzles have my endorsement as a premium gentleman pastime.

The Style Guy

2009-02-18T07:00:00.002-05:00

I was at the grocery store and decided to purchase my first issue of GQ. Naturally, I’d been aware of GQ Magazine. It seemed more like the flag of a overstuffed mentality than something to read, but remembering that the “G” stood for Gentleman’s, it seemed to have become a necessity. It was a wise investment, though it’s essentially just the Soup to Esquire’s Best Week Ever.

I was instantly enamoured with The Style Guy’s (Glen O’Brien) advice column. It outclasses the Answer Fella and the Playboy Advisory. Plus it’s funny.

Wanting more, but not inclined to dig through years of periodicals, I luckily stumbled upon an convenient solution. I was looking for Alan Flusser books at the library and accidentally found his. He's compiled what I assume is the best of his column into categories within a fun little book. I blew through it in five or six shits (sorry other library patrons, I was very careful).

It was a good read. Fun and informative in sort of an (Everything you wanted to know about being a cool grown up, but were afraid to ask) kind of way. I highly recommend it to anyone who’s ready to cancel their subscription to Maxim and start getting GQ delivered.

Wood Panelled Consciousness

2009-02-17T07:00:00.006-05:00

I went for a jog around the neighborhood on Sunday. For whatever reason, I was taking notice of all the different cars parked along the way. On one particular block there was an uncanny assortment of vehicles. Back to back were a Smart Car and one of those obnoxious tractor trailer wannabe things. Further down there was a Mini Cooper and a Honda Insight. As well as a Yukon and a Jeep Wrangler.

Then I saw it. A filthy, 1989 Buick Century station wagon with wood panelling. For all it’s ugliness, the context of the rest of the block demonstrated beautiful possibilities. If Detroit can put Hybrid technology in an Escape and an Escalade, why not a LeSabre Estate? Outfit it with the latest eco-friendly technology and style it like an updated Wagon Queen Family Truckster (Down to the Metalic Pea paint job). I’d line up to buy one. What could convey the idea of an environmentally geared product better than wood panelling?

Despite the turn from trucks and minivans, people still need family cars. They can put out all the “crossover” vehicles they want. But we know an SUV when we see one. The time is right for a return to the station wagon. I realize that government fuel economy standards killed the wagon and paved the way for the SUV. But it seems like all parties are primed for reconfiguring all that and ready to invest in a combination of new and classic thinking.

In this particular era it would appear much more gentlemanly than a sports car or a Hummer. And would be more practical for the guy who occasionally needs to transport kids, dogs and luggage than the supped up golf carts in vogue lately. Not to mention the manly men who need to haul lumber, camping, fishing, golfing, hunting, biking equipment but don't need it to be 4 feet off the ground as to traverse rugged mountainsides with it.

Addendum:
I just read on CNNMoney.com that Chrysler is planning on discontinuing the PT Cruiser, Dodge Magnum and Pacifica. (as well as the Hummer) In my opinion these offerings from Chrylser are their closest cousins to a station wagon. It makes me wonder of they've concluded that people don't want anything close to a station wagon or if their planning on clearing the way for an actual station wagon to replace all three the same way Ford did with the Taurus. On my way to work this morning, I saw a Magnum and thought that if it wasn't a psuedo muscle car, I'd totally want one. As for the PT Cruiser and Pacifica, good riddance.

Presidential musings

2009-02-16T07:00:00.003-05:00

I don’t think it’s a prerequisite for a president to be a gentleman. I’m not even sure that it’s an asset towards being a good one. In fact, I think it’s fairly irrelevant. If you size up past presidents for their political performance, and then subsequently size them up by their gentlemanly qualities, you’ll see highly mismatched charting. I consider George HW Bush and Jimmy Carter to be quite gentlemanly, for instance.

There was a fascinating article in the New York Times about the difference in dress code between the Bush and Obama white house. Bush was very strict and Obama is very laid back. I feel that when it comes to things like this, the mark of a gentleman is that he presents himself well but allows others to be as comfortable as they please. Naturally, the wardrobe of a president is a carefully considered but unassuming refection of his relative modern professional attire. The way he carries himself, the way he treats those close to him and his content of his speech are how you would measure his gentleman qualities.

Presidential Quotes

“Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.”
- George Washington

"Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?"
- Abraham Lincoln

"Speak softly and carry a big stick."
- Theodore Roosevelt

"Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men.”
- John Fitzgerald Kennedy

"I want a kinder, gentler nation."
- George Herbert Walker Bush

"I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming."
- Jimmy Carter

Presidential extra

2009-02-16T06:59:00.000-05:00

Golf Dreams, Goals

2009-02-15T07:00:00.002-05:00

My dad was searching for his copy of Louden Wainwright III’s Album III to lend to me when he realized that he’d lent it to my sister. As a consolation prize, he handed me a book on tape. It was Golf Dreams. A collection of essays and short stories about golf written and read by John Updike. I just finished it yesterday.

It seems like a cruel joke now, getting me all fired up to play a round of honest golf in the middle of February. All I can do is bounce some puts around the living room and maybe set some “New Gentleman” golfing goals for the year. Here goes...

1. I’d like to get together with my poker buddies and play a dollar a hole skins game at least once. Or enlist them in a charity scramble for a decent cause. We used to play a couple times a season but I don't think we played at all last year which was a real shame. The same story applies to poker, bowling, pool and various other excuses to drink Miller High Life between turns and jokes.

2. I’d like to take my stepson out to the driving range 2 or 3 times in advance of taking a day off work to go nine with him on one of the ugly par 3s. He's about the age I was when my dad took me out. I dug the Junior set of clubs out of his basement last year and bought a bag of plastic practice balls at the end of last year. Although he's 5 times the athelete I was, he's equally prone to tears of frustration so it should be a fun little spin on the circle of life.

3. I’d like to get a new driver. My current one is a hand be down from my dad that has a nasty dent at the bottom of the club face and is probably an inch too short for me. I’d like to get one at least partially made of wood, if they still make them. I visited Dick's sporting goods and their selection was uniformly shiny and oversized. I’d also like to pick up a box of decent balls. Maybe Slazengers or Titleists. At this point my entire arsenal consists of found balls and scuffed emergency Top Flites.

4. I’d like to break 90. I’d been putting off buying proper spikes until I broke 90, but I realized that not having spikes was probably holding me back from breaking 90. So at the end of last season, when they were under $10 I bought a pair of Puma golf cleats. I know there’s a little book with tips and tricks for breaking 90. I’ll track it down and digest it. Hopefully that will do the trick.

5. I’m going to commit myself to walking every round, keeping an honest score card, playing by the rules, replacing, repairing and observing every golf courtesy. God help me if I come across a pair of knickers and argyle knee socks. Though, the tweed cap is definitely coming out.

Valentine's Day Extra

2009-02-14T07:00:00.003-05:00

In all probability, I’ve lived somewhere between half and a third of my life. In that time I’ve learned a great many things, though a tiny percentage of that which is worth knowing. Some is knowledge gained through both careful study and casual coincidence. But more valuable than all the knowledge I possess is the small amount of wisdom. And the only way I’ve gained that is through persistent failure.

I have written a long history of failure in many pursuits. Some of them have been bested, others still offer torment. In examining the trappings of a good Valentine’s day, I think I’ve discovered the key to the pursuits of looking good. It all has to do with dedication and a bit of extra effort. I know that sounds a little simplistic so let me explain. If you want to look good to your boss or client, take on a little extra responsibility and see it through with dedication. If you want to lose weight or gain muscle, be consistently dedicated to your plan and always put a little extra on top, an extra 5 minutes or 3 reps. If you want to excel in sport, parenting, business, music, gardening, whatever. Work at it with consistent dedication and put forth a little more than is required.

The same applies to Valentine’s day. Your goal is to make someone happy, let them know that you love them and enhance their affection for you by looking like a great romantic companion. What’s been puzzling me for my whole life and leading to my romantic failures is searching for a specific recipe or magic gesture to reach that goal. It seems that such a pursuit is counterproductive. It demonstrates, much like the unlucky in weight loss, career advancement, or contest loser, enough effort to get it over with.

“I went to the gym every other day for a month, and lost nothing.”, “I’m always on time, but keep getting passed over.”, “The coach never puts me in the game.” Sound familiar? What your body, your boss or your coach wants is dedication and extra effort. And that’s what your partner wants. They want to see and feel like you care enough about them and your relationship that you fully dedicated yourself and went a little bit above and beyond. Sometimes this means roses, but that doesn’t take much dedication and depending on your financial situation, not much extra. Most of the time it means spending time thinking about it, going to sizeable lengths to make it happen, and offering it as a completely unselfish gesture. This generally means that it wasn’t done at the last minute and it ultimately shows that you understand, pay attention to and care deeply about him or her.

Parenthetical adjectives are key in these examples.

(Custom) jewelry

A song composed or learned (for the occasion)

(Personally delivered) flowers at work

A special (home cooked) meal

That’s not to say that you can’t get the job done with a night on the town, a store bought card or a small gift. It all depends on where the bar is set and the disposition of your significant other. I’m hoping that my attempt at Valentine’s Day measures up this year. Here’s a hint. It’s not a Pajamagram. But if it proves to be another failure, hopefully it will at least lead to greater romantic wisdom.

Universal Remote

2009-02-13T07:00:00.001-05:00

I’m the type of guy who takes pride in his entertainment center. I have an ostentatiously large television and a broad assortment of components and hi-fi equipment to go with it. I like to get the full benefit of all of it. The AppleTV is running through the TV and the receiver. The DVD player and record player (when not broken) is running through both as well. Each component has a prescribed audio setting and proper cables. I even manually renamed the TV input channels to suit their corresponding component. The back end is a thicket of cables that could strangle a boa constrictor.

My only shame has been that since switching to the latest cable service and getting the TV, I haven’t programmed a universal remote for everything. Having to juggle up to 3 remotes was making me feel like a failure of a father and husband. These things are clearly under my jurisdiction and I was letting everyone down.

Over the years I’ve become quite the master of home entertainment electronics. My resume features mastery of such elements as:

Switching from DirecTV to Comcast, back to DirecTV and finally to Service Electric Cablevision without skipping a beat on the TiVo.

Integrating the following components into the entertainment center: Air Tunes, (iTV) AppleTV, multiple DVD players, VCR, Phonographic Turntable and a Nintendo Wii

Familiarity with RF Modulators, iPod AV docks, Piggy Back RCA cables, IR Cables for the TiVo

There is an empty cardboard box under the bar in the den so chock full of wires and jacks that it looks like a Radio Shack was crushed into a cube. The fact that I hadn’t bothered to unify the remote controls seems like a disgrace.

While joining the flock of tech vultures at our local Circuit City, I picked up a Sony model and I got busy teaching special functions with end to end laser communication like a mad scientist until all the original remote controls were stripped of their batteries and resigned to the box in the den. Including the colorful and cumbersome cable box unit that had been the bane of my existence during countless sporting events. (If you can’t tell, I’ve been reading Updike recently)

Of course to make all this magic happen, I needed to follow two important gentleman rules: Follow directions & Check the Batteries I spent a frustrating 25 minutes wrestling with the thing before deciding to allow my wife’s advice to sink in and recharging the batteries before proceeding. It was one of those did-you-check-that-it’s-plugged-in moments. Where you loose sight of the forest. I should probably add: Welcome and Heed Advice to the rules of universal remote programming as well.

Morning Exercise

2009-02-12T07:00:00.001-05:00

When I lived in Hoboken and worked in downtown Manhatten, my roommate and I would rise early a few times a week and start our day at the Hudson Athletic Club. It’s the kind of place where they hand you a towel when you walk in and you can work out with a semi-obstructed view of the city. We'd move some weights around, get a steam and a shower and be on our way to work. That was one of my favorite parts about that time in my life.

Now that I have kids and dogs and live in a considerably less urban environment, it’s a little hard to rekindle that exact feeling. I’ve met a buddy to play racquetball before work, but that was over Christmas break when the wife and kids were starting their day on their own.

I’ve committed myself to getting up 20 minutes earlier and heading down to the basement for some calisthenics. I warm up with 5 minutes on the elliptical machine. Then I alternate pushups, sit-ups, medicine ball: wood chops, twists, step-ups and front raises with jump rope or jumping jacks. If I keep moving, it takes about 22 minutes. Or the length of one episode of Arrested Development, Get Smart, 30 Rock, or half an episode of Freaks & Geeks, Mad Men or The Wire.

This weekend I’m going to figure out how to fasten a pull-up bar to the joists in the ceiling and add that to the routine as well. I’ll probably draw the line there. As much as I dig the old school approach, pins and spring cables and kettle bells are probably a little too far.

I’ve been at it for a few days and my first impressions are: It beats an extra cup of coffee for starting the day with energy. I'd go so far as to call it invigorating. It helps to keep my morning shower brief. Being more awake helps prevent those lost moments. And it makes me look and feel a little extra pumped up during the day, which is never a bad thing. Also, when I’m half awake, my brain is less able to think of excuses for quitting early.

Burgundy & Gray

2009-02-11T07:00:00.001-05:00

I fished this tie out of a bucket at J. Crew over the weekend for $8. I threw together the rest of the outfit and got carried away. All the way down to my socks and underwear. Then when I got home I noticed that my my whole family was coincidentally coordinated as well.

So What

2009-02-10T07:00:00.000-05:00

Wardrobe: Then and Now

2009-02-09T07:00:00.001-05:00

In the past year or so I've lost roughly 100 pounds. Virtually every piece of clothing I owned had to be replaced. I used this as an opportunity to overhaul my personal look. I've been going for a more grown up, permanent fashion wardrobe. Here's a quick snapshot of my closet from February 10, 2008 and one from yesterday, February 8, 2009. (obscured are several sport coats, a suit and a few dozen ties.)

Public Showers

2009-02-08T07:00:00.000-05:00

Practicing good hygiene is as much a part of being a gentleman as anything. So is physical fitness. Sometimes those two pursuits conflict. I like to take advantage of any opportunity to get some exercise. That means biking to work (when the weather and daylight cooperate), going for a jog during my lunch break, and hitting the gym on a regular basis. Naturally, these activities produce serious amounts of sweat.

Luckily, my workplace and my gym have readily available shower facilities. One is semi private. The other is semi risqué. (not only is it in full display of anyone who enters the bathroom, but there’s a spot in the hallway with a half decent view through a clear window) In any event, taking public showers is part of being a man. Especially an athletically inclined man. Still, there are some pitfalls that a gentleman will want to avoid and a few items and techniques he’ll appreciate.

Before you untie your shoes, make sure you have a secure personal locker. If there are functioning showers, there should be at least a handful of lockers. If you can have one reserved for your personal use, that’s even better. You can keep it stocked with the items that you’ll need. They would be:

Body Wash Even if you’re strictly a bar soap guy, the aim is efficiency and messing with a wet bar of soap is too much of a hassle. However, you do get manly points for soap on a rope.

Powder Gold Bond Body Powder, Shower To Shower, regular generic talc, just something to keep you cool and dry. Your body will produce some residual sweat after you’re done exercising. You’ll want to keep yourself fresh. Apply to your feet, nether regions, and anywhere your workout clothes get swampy.

Antiperspirant/Deodorant obviously.

Moisturizer I know what your thinking. Foofy, right. The thing is that the more you shower, the more your skin dries out. And if your exercising outdoors it only makes matters worse. Either way, keep your showers short and the water on the cool side to keep dry skin under control as well.

A Clean Towel This should go without saying too, but I find it wise to pack a smaller, thinner towel. Again, it’s all about efficiency and simplicity. Choices should be made favoring that over your personal comfort.

Shower Shoes They don’t call it athletes foot for nothing. Plus, it allows you to rationalize away your own Tobias-Fünke-like nevernude issues.

A few optional items include cologne, a washcloth, hairbrush/comb, pomade (other hair product) and electric razor.
Forgive me if they seem more essential to you. When you’re bearded, balding and not into cologne, it makes some typical concerns seem extraneous.

Above all, keep it quick and simple. Get the sweat off and get out. Do your serious cleaning at home. Nobody likes a lingerer in a public shower. Not only is it suspicious, but somebody might be waiting for that head and being a gentleman is about making life easier for others. Shaving, teeth brushing, nail trimming, Q-tipping, nose hair trimming and shampooing should be reserved for your home bathroom as well. And don’t leave anything damp clothing or towels in your locker any longer than you have to. Those things are like a funk incubator.

Monogram

2009-02-07T07:00:00.005-05:00

Mono means one and Gram means gram

My recent screening of North By Northwest was in part a search for elements of refinement and gentlemanly behavior to examine and adopt. Cary Grant’s Roger Thornhill is a memorable example of a gentleman who has it all figured out. Since he wears the same clothes throughout the movie and is frantically avoiding peril, there wasn’t all that much to glean. But I was impressed by the fact that he had a personal mark or monogram that played a clever role in the story. His match book featured his sharp looking R.O.T. on the cover and I presume all his pocket squares, shirts and golf clubs shared the same mark.

I’d like to have something like that going. First I’ll need to create a mark. Being a graphic designer, I’ve visited the notion several times. Usually whenever I’m updating my resume or too bored to do anything else. I figured this would be as good excuse as any to finally see it through.

For a little history, the tradition of monograms comes from French and English aristocracy. Their housekeepers would sometimes share work and having a mark on each piece of laundry made it easy to separate. Even today, when using professional dry cleaning and laundry services it can come in very handy. Before I start having all my shirts and personal items embroidered, I’ll need to settle on a solid mark.

Images from Monograms Inc.
I stumbled upon the website for a monogram designer in NYC named Caroline Brackenridge. She operates Monogram Inc. and she does a heck of a job. Her $575 initial price seems very reasonable for what she provides. Naturally, I’ll be creating my own. I’ll probably spend a lot of time and energy on this. I’ll post the final result somewhere down the line.

The Andy Bernard Conundrum

2009-02-06T07:00:00.004-05:00

Without question, Ed Helm’s character on NBC’s The Office is the archetypal preppy douche bag. Andy Bernard is annoying, stupid and full of himself. But damn if I don’t love his wardrobe. I recognize most of what he wears from J. Crew. And clearly, if he learned anything from his privileged upbringing and Ivy League education, it was how to dress.

In fact, I’m more or less dressed like Andy right now. I’m wearing the green and blue university striped tie and checked shirt from J. Crew with khakis and a sweater. I would like to point out that I acquired these items before he debuted on television. But this still begs the question: What does this all say about me? Is the fictional wardrobe of Andy Bernard modeled after dudes like me? Should I be concerned that I am coming off like a douche bag?

I’d much rather be the model for a character like Jim. His wardrobe isn’t objectionable. But frankly, he dressed like a Catholic high school student. I’ve been there. I’m not necessarily trying to go back to that. Perhaps I should strive for a middle ground. Maybe Oscar, but strait.

Mr. Peabody

2009-02-05T07:00:00.002-05:00

I decided to go for broke and wear a bow tie. I picked up this one at my local thrift shop. It's from a company called Sherman. And interestingly, wearing it made me feel a bit like Mr. Peabody (quiet, you). Though I quickly got used to it and began to feel like I'd been wearing bow ties my whole life.

I was caught off guard by the lack of comments from coworkers. By the afternoon it started to get noticed. The security guard did mention that a bow tie suited me better than a regular tie. All in all, I'm calling it a success and I'll be keeping my eyes open for other bows to sport on the odd occasion. I don't think this one is too bad. It was certainly the best one of the bunch at the thrift shop. But I can't shake the idea that the little paisley guys look like Homer Simpson sperm.

I'm not going to bother demonstrating how to tie a bow tie. If you're interested it's easy enough to look up. I have to admit that demonstrating the technique was among my original ideas for blog topics. But it seems like everybody else has done it already. I will mention that I learned out of a book rather than online. And once you've done it two or three times, it's not much harder than a half windsor or Prince Albert knot. I did have a strong urge to adjust it frequently, though it barely needed it. Except when my 10 month old decided to grab and pull on it.

How-To Book Review

2009-02-04T07:00:00.003-05:00

I just read a smart little book by John Bridges called How To Be A Gentleman: A Contemporary Guide To Common Courtesy. Essentially, it’s a litany of gentlemanly proverbs loosely compiled into a handbook. Reading through them all at once, it becomes clear that being a gentleman is basically about two things. First, being completely dedicated to making the lives of others easier. And second, when all things are equal, executing the proper techniques in refinement.

You can essentially apply those two concepts and a little common sense and score a near perfect on a gentlemanly quiz. Still, I did find a handful to be rather enlightening. Such as:

“A gentleman says ‘thank you’ on paper, and ‘I’m sorry’ on the phone.”

“A gentleman feels no obligation to wear socks after Memorial Day…”

“A gentleman introduces youngest to oldest first.” And “A gentleman introduces an unmarried couple as individuals. Avoiding phrases like ‘…and this is her live-in boyfriend/homosexual companion/lover’”

“A gentleman never says ‘If there’s anything I can do…’ Instead of placing the burden on the unfortunate to ask for help he makes a specific offer of assistance.”

“A gentleman always carries plenty of singles. You always want to be prepared to leave a tip or to help someone who is unprepared to leave one.”

“A gentleman never instigates a handshake with a lady. Though he accepts and does so gently and quickly.”

“A gentleman never wears a button down shirt with a bow tie.”

“When pouring wine form a bottle, a gentleman turns it slightly as he finishes to avoid dripping”

“A gentleman doesn’t brag, whine or make idle threats.”

However, I also have to take issue with a few of his points. For various personal reasons I don’t plan on conforming to these standards any time soon.

“A gentleman tucks his undershirt into his underpants.”

“A gentleman doesn’t waste time with pilsner or beer glasses, the can or bottle will do”
First of all, I strongly disagree. And I happen to have a very elaborate collection of beer glasses that I’m quite proud of.

“A gentleman does not lean back in his chair.”
I can agree with this to a point. No slouching and chair tipping, but putting up your feet and leaning back is one of life’s great pleasures.

Sartorial Pet Peeve | Labels

2009-02-03T07:00:00.001-05:00

Confession: I have a vintage Lacoste sweater with the little alligator that I’m quite fond of. It’s a plain navy v-neck. It’s not in the greatest of shape and could probably stand to be replaced. That got me thinking. When wearing a traditional article of clothing, why would you want a visible label of it’s manufacturer? To demonstrate how much you paid for it of course. Upon review, that seems somewhat ungentlemanly to me.

In fact, I often resist buying clothes made by Tommy Hilfiger, Ralph Lauren, Nautica or anyone who tends to prominently display their embroidered logo or some other obvious indicator of the brand. A gentleman should take pride in his appearance. He should wear clothes that fit his body and the occasion. But whether he had them custom tailored at Brooks Brothers or bought them off the J.C. Penny clearance rack is his business.

I understand the marketing strategy and how it benefits the manufacturer to make it obvious and advertise the appeal of his wares. But ask yourself this. If you happened to look good, would you rather have an admirer of your clothing say to himself: “I can see that he shops at Polo.” or “I wonder what his secret is.” It just seems to subtract from the benefits of dressing well and provides short cuts to style.

If the objective is observing the quality of goods and value purchasing, then there are more refined methods for determining what something is worth relative to it’s cost. It’s better to analyze thread count, stitching, button material, and weight than by inspecting a half inch patch of embroidery.

A gentleman can make a lot of different statements with his clothing: I’m on the cutting edge of fashion. I’m strait laced and serious. I’m laid back, individualistic, traditional, hip, old school, fancy, etc. But I don’t think, "I spent $X on a knit polo" should be one of them. There’s too narrow an audience that would appreciate that information. Some people might be put off by how high it is, others by how low.

Watch Carefully

2009-02-02T07:00:00.003-05:00

Historically, I’ve never really been a watch wearer. But when I got into biking to work and running it quickly became a necessity. In fact, an unfortunate vacation incident that I won’t go into led to a hasty late night Wal-Mart purchase. That $7 digital sports watch served me well. The face was scuffed in a bike accident but it kept time, worked in the pool and I’d grown accustomed to the chronograph and indiglo features.

Still, it looked like a $7 watch from Wal-Mart. Every time I’d see a photo of myself the poor thing stuck out like a ketchup stain on a white dinner jacket. So I started paying attention to watches. I would check the wrist gear on photos of cool celebrities. I tooled around the web and men’s magazines hoping something would catch my eye. Something did. J. Crew just introduced a Timex made replica of a 40s era military watch. My brother, who’s in the military, wears a smart looking Victorinox number that I really admire.

But I couldn’t pull the trigger. For one thing, I’d miss some of the features of my sports watch. And the $150 price tag, though fairly reasonable, seemed high for a watch that probably would sell for $20 if J. Crew weren’t involved. Plus I just saw an episode of the Bob Newhart show where Emily buys him a $3000 watch for his birthday that leads to a fight. He makes a good point at the end of the show. Something like, I wouldn’t have minded if you’d spent $3000 on a piano because a $10 piano probably doesn’t sound very good. But a $10 watch does the same thing that a $3000 watch does and you can take the remaining $2990 and buy a pretty decent piano.” Basically, it’s an expanded version of the old “Don’t waste time with fancy watches” adage.

So I looked around Timex’s website and took a modest liking to their Expedition model. It seemed to be a fair compromise. Then I was at Target getting dog food and happened to notice one on clearance for less than half the regular price. Now I’m sure the model Timex furnishes for Target is a little sub standard. But I assume it will keep time and take at least a half lickin’. Besides, if you consider that I’m getting a nearly ideal mix of the J. Crew style and the sports watch function for three and a half times the price of one and a sixth the price of the other, I’m probably making out.

Funny side story: My brother was shedding possessions before going overseas and gave an almost identical cheap sportswatch to my stepson. Then he proposed to his girlfriend shortly thereafter and she bought him an expensive Tag watch as an engagement gift. It’s a Spanish tradition. But with his line of work, he’s too afraid to damage it. Perhaps it has something to do with our upbringing.

Double Feature | North by Northwest + Fletch

2009-02-01T07:00:00.002-05:00

Fletch and North by Northwest are two of my favorite movies. I was watching the latter when I realized that they are remarkably similar. Some aspects couldn’t be more different, but essentially it’s the same movie. Suave, divorced, career driven chap, by way of mistaken identity, becomes embroiled in a complex plot and has to solve a mystery, avoid being killed, travel, disguise, and bed the gorgeous blonde mixed up in it all, while dispensing the sharpest wit imaginable.

Of course there are big differences in sensibilities. East coast – West coast. Government Secrets – Drug Traffic. 50s – 80s. One outfit – Dozens of them. Suspense – Comedy. But there are so many corresponding elements. Private planes, running from cops, aliases, etc. But perhaps the most notable is the main character. Irwin R. Fletcher and Roger O. Thronhill are both remarkably smooth, funny, self-possessed gentlemen. They both think on their feet, have a way with women and above all are inquisitive and courageous.

Manners, style and knowledge are important facets of a gentleman. But it doesn’t mean much if he’s not a man of action that can think on his feet. Especially when he’s out of his element. Being able to talk your way out of a jam as well as throw a decent punch or jump a wall when talking has been exhausted is just as important. Here’s hoping that none of us get mixed up in a murderous plot. But in such an event, let’s be prepared to handle it like gentlemen.

“If you shoot me, you're liable to lose a lot of those humanitarian awards.” – Fletch

“I've got a job, a secretary, a mother, two ex-wives and several bartenders that depend upon me, and I don't intend to disappoint them all by getting myself slightly killed.” – R. O. Thornhill

Current Personal Trend | Watch Caps

2009-01-31T07:00:00.003-05:00

I’ll give credit where it’s due. The farmer’s almanac predicted an especially cold winter. And it's no joke out there. I’ve been trying my best to carve as much style out of bundling up as I can. Sweaters under sport coats under overcoats, flaps over fingerless gloves and of course scarves have been mainstays. But one article that I initially tried to resist has evolved into something that I’m not only embracing but turning into a personal trend: watch caps.

Also known as knit caps, ski caps, beanies, tuques, stocking caps, etc., they’re everywhere. But generally speaking, they’re used in a capacity where style is secondary. Nine times out of ten I see them in combination with a puffy winter coat or hooded sweatshirt. If they are part of a fashion statement, it’s usually, “Does anybody want to start a drum circle?” or “I’m fresh out of mega-hold styling gel”. But I’m discovering that in a solid basic color like navy, gray, black or brown and combined with a smart outfit, it can be quite stylish. In the right context and arrangement you start to look like a grizzled navy vet or prize fighter.

There's a narrow space on the casual scale where you can pull it off. Dress it too far down and you've stopped caring. Too formal and it's awkward. The trick is to avoid falling into three traps. 1) The third McKenzie brother. 2) 3rd Grader at the bus stop 3) Drifter. As long as you’re conjuring up images of Burgess Meredith and Sly Stalone in Rocky or David Niven and Anthony Quinn in Guns of the Navarone, you're in business.

Addition:
I just read the preface of the Style Guy's book and he mentioned that style is about doing everything exactly right and one thing intentionally wrong. I think that idea plays well into dressing really sharp and topping it off with a watch cap.

Eyes up here.

2009-01-30T07:00:00.000-05:00

They know. They might not always call you out or give you a slap, but they make a note of it and it colors their impression of you. Even if they “want” you to look, you’ll retain the upper hand and gain respect if you resist.

I know it’s a challenge. Boobs are powerful eye magnets. But resisting the urge to stare, drift or even peek is key to establishing your gentlemanship. Imagine that a welcoming few inches of cleavage is a surgical scar or birth mark. We’ve all learned how to avoid staring in those instances. Apply the same techniques. But acknowledge that it’s a sub-rational impulse.

You don’t want to be so focused on not looking down that you end up darting around the room or engaging in creepy prolonged eye contact. Give yourself a break by looking up into your head like your trying to recall something or look at her mouth when she’s talking. That will also bring the boobs into your peripheral vision and enable you to get a sense of them and avoid feeling the need to do a quick check.

Don’t:
Broach the subject or make a joke about it. Even if you think it’s cool.

Get so worked up about not looking that you get flustered or run away.

Give it a second thought. Once you start chanting “don’t look, don’t look, don’t look” in your head, you’re doomed.

Do:
Try purposefully engaging your visual attention. Compliment her shoes or hair. In fact, do that all the time.

Take a mental cold shower. Remove sexual undertones by treating her like an aunt, or sister.

Recall a fantastic pair that you’ve seen exposed in the past. With that picture lingering your mind, you won’t feel compelled to catch a glimpse of the mostly covered pair in your presence.

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That covers not staring during a direct interface. As for cleavage entering your field of vision and grabbing your attention, God help us. I only have one piece of advice for someone who is in the company of a wife, girlfriend, or female acquaintance who wouldn’t appreciate you checking out another woman. Call immediate attention to it. Point out the cleavage and say something like “What is she wearing?”, “That’s just obnoxious.”, or “That woman looks familiar, where do I know her from?” Then you can look all you want. Soon enough you’ll have your fill and you’ll be able to move on.

Swim Trunks

2009-01-29T07:00:00.002-05:00

Somewhere near the root of this project is a desire to grow out of habits and styles from my late youth. A lot of choices were made attempting to fit into a standard of living that no longer makes any sense. I see it as less of a reinvention and more of a grounding in sensibility. It's an attempt to peel myself away from youthfull fashion trends. The first step is to examine all facets of manner and style. Second, taking them back to the simple roots to understand the whys and the hows. The final phase will be to establish a sensibility that fits me as a grown man and hopefully a proper gentleman as well.

That said, I just picked up a new pair of swim trunks. I'm going to emphasise the word trunks, because I think it's important. They're not board shorts or speedos. Nor are they a swim suit. They're plain solid black. They're of a reasonable length and roomy enough for a grown man's needs. I think it illustrates a process that I'm trying to instill when making new purchases. As sort of an offshoot of the "dress for the job you want" dictem. I'm trying to outfit the gentleman I aspire to be. Almost like buying gifts for the father and potential grandfather in myself. I plan on wearing them in the pool at the gym and in the back yard. And occasionally in the ocean. If I enter a swimming race or take up surfing, then I might consider a different type of swimwear.

You certainly don't need to forgo fashionable designs and patterns. You need a pair of short pants outfitted for swimming that provide a smart balance between freedom of movement and modesty. End of discussion. Besides, no statement made by your choice of swimwear will be able to avoid being completely drowned out by the statements made by your bare body parts.

Good & Propper | Nails

2009-01-28T07:00:00.006-05:00

I assume that most of you don’t need advice on trimming your nails. However, I have an assortment of bad habits in that department that I’d like to break. So for my own sake, here are a few random tips, thoughts, guidelines, etc. on the subject.

I chew off my fingernails, and cut my toenails off at the corners. Both are huge mistakes. The official Boy Scout Fieldbook recommends cutting toenails strait across. There are even uniquely designed clippers that have a flat edge for that purpose. And not only is biting your finger nails disgusting, (though only slightly less disgusting as the sound of someone using clippers at work) it’s not good for your nails. Don’t ask me why. In fact don’t ask me anything really. I’m a nibble and tear person. But I’m working on it.

The expression “cut to the quick” is from nail trimming. The quick is the portion of your nails cemented to your finger that hurts like a bitch and sometimes bleeds when you cut them back too far. Naturally, also not recommended for non-masochists.

Cut over a wastebasket. Not only will it help you avoid freaking out your wife. But I was watching a random episode of the Sopranos on A&E the other day. And that hot Italian boss Tony fantasizes about takes special care to dispose of her clippings. She tells Tony that if your enemy gets a hold of them, he can “put the evil on you”. And who wants that?

And let’s see... Don’t cut them when they’re wet. Dig them into a bar of soap before working in the yard to prevent getting dirt under them. Remember to file after clipping (long strokes, not in public, maintaining a manly posture).

Lounge Pants

2009-01-27T07:00:00.000-05:00

Ideally, I would have a nice pair of pajamas to wear to bed. Though it's the transition time before and after sleeping that I'm really dressing for. And at this stage, a set of pajamas seems a bit formal for most evenings. Perhaps if I was sharing a vacation house, had live-in help or simply spent my days frolicking with my stable of Playboy bunnies, then silk pajamas would be the default choice.

I'm sure the vast majority of men, even if they don't wear them to bed regularly, have a pair of plaid or patterned flannel lounge pants. Otherwise known as unmatched pajama bottoms. I had a pair from the Gap that I wore to the point of disintegration. And their replacements, though fine and suitable were a tad too large and a bit less than fashion forward. It seemed like there was a serious lack of options in the world of lounge pants. I figured I'd be replacing one plaid flannel pair with another until I died in one.

Then I stumbled upon these at a Marshal's of all places. They're made of oxford cloth. Typically reserved for button down shirts, but they make a remarkable pant as well. They're made by a company called Vineyard Vines. A little outfit started by two buddies with an inspiring story. Though, not as inspiring as the Chinese factory where this pair was put together I imagine. Anyway, they offer hyper preppy clothes at outrageous prices. I'll spare you the gory details of what these were originally priced at. They must have not been much of a hit, because they're not currently on their website and like I said, they ended up at a Marshal's.

But I love them. Maybe the transposing of traditional fabrics was a bit too clever for the kind of guys who spend $50 on flip-flops. I can't be sure. But it's my gain either way. I can't put my finger on why, but they have a very Owen Wilson quality. And between you and me, if someone catches me fetching the paper or the mail bright and early. I'd feel a lot more dignified in blue oxford cloth lounge pants than plaid or patterned flannels or even full pajamas for that matter.