The Good Doctor

I saw Buy the Ticket, Take the Ride last night. It’s a captivating documentary on the life and death of Hunter S. Thompson.

Despite a life of unbridled adventure an excess, the most fascinating segments dealt with his breakfast routine, sleeping habits and funeral arrangements. He would wake sometime in the afternoon and eat 5 or 6 grapefruits along with several glasses of Chivas. He would regularly stay up and work or talk on the phone till dawn. He lived life entirely on his own terms until the idea of himself outran the reality. The movie actually makes a disturbingly good case for committing suicide in your mid to late sixties. Or at least when there’s nothing more to be done.

Repeatedly throughout the film, people close to him state that despite his reputation and larger than life persona, in the private company of family and friends he was a consummate Southern gentleman. That’s what stuck out to me the most, at least in relation to my current fascinations. He was a man with an insatiable appetite for everything in the realm of guns, booze, drugs, motors, sport, politics and anything where danger and excitement traveled along the same parabola. But when the show was over, he was a kind and giving host and friend, a road man for the lords of karma.

I was also intrigued by the fact that as a budding writer, he used to retype complete books by the likes of Hemmingway and Faulkner. I'd like to give that a try. I can't imagine having that kind of time though. I'll bet it would make me a much better writer, and typist.


Quotes
“There was no time for scholarly details, and, besides, I have always believed that a man can fairly be judged by the standards and taste of his choices in matters of high-level plagiarism.”

“It’s a strange world. Some people get rich and others eat shit and die.”

His Suicide Note
“Football seasons over. No More Games. No More Bombs. No More Walking. No More Fun. No More Swimming. 67. That is 17 years past 50. 17 more than I needed or wanted. Boring. I am always bitchy. No Fun - for anybody. 67. You are getting Greedy. Act your old age. Relax - This won’t hurt.”

I have only read essays and articles of his. After seeing this movie, though, I'm putting at least one novel on my library list.

Washingtonian Civility

Augustine Washington sought for his son to be a great man. Indeed, George became one. In advance of that or perhaps because of it, he gave him a handwritten notebook filled with 110 principles. They were translated from a Latin text that Jesuit monks had used for teaching the sons of nobility in the 1500s.

Washington biographer, Richard Brookhiser, restored and expanded upon them in his book, Rules of Civility: The 110 Precepts That Guided Our First President In War And Peace

These rules go beyond matters of etiquette and formality. They are more of a complete code of conduct that an upstanding man follows to impress upon others that he is in full control of himself and his surroundings. I imagine that along with his imposing stature, adhering to these codes made Washington quite a man amongst men. And like a true gentleman of any era, it was his calling to be an inspiring example to those that would follow him.

Here are a few highlights:

1. Every action done in company ought to be done with some sign or respect to those that are present.

10. When you sit down, keep your feet firm and even, without putting one on the other or crossing them

25. Superfluous compliments and all affectation of ceremony are to be avoided, yet where they are due they are not to be neglected.

35. Let your discourse with men of business be short and comprehensive.

47. Mock not nor jest at any thing of importance, break no jests that are sharp, biting, and if you deliver any thing witty and pleasant, abstain from laughing thereat yourself.

49. Use no reproachable language against any one, neither curse nor revile.

63. A man ought not to value himself of his achievements or rare qualities of wit, much less of his riches, virtue or kindred.

82. Undertake not what you cannot perform but be careful to keep your promise.

97. Put not another bit into your mouth till the former be swallowed. Let not your morsels be too big for the jowls.

109. Let your recreations be manful not sinful.

What impressed me most about this set of rules is that it steers clear of any type of dandyism. It doesn’t get bogged down in dress socks and hat tipping. Instead it functions as a guide for a man to keep a solid chin and a firm grip on everything. Like a farmer/soldier/statesman would have to be. Stoic, elegant and self aware.

Dressing The Man

It turned out that what I didn’t know about dressing myself could fill a book. Luckily, that book was “Dressing the Man” by Alan Flusser, and it was at my local library. This book is the bible of men’s clothes. Or at least the Old Testament of men’s clothes.

As a graphic design student I was told repeatedly that you had to know what the rules where before you could break them successfully. I ended up renewing it from the library. As I got deeper in, I wanted to go back and cross reference the photos and the chapters subjects. It would make an excellent text book for a class in personal and timeless style. I seriously took notes out of it. If I had bought it, I might have broken out the hi-liter and color tab stickers.

For the sake of criticism, it left a little to be desired in the casual department. Not that dressing down should be the goal, but I’m sure there is a method for success in that spectrum as well. Regardless of your typical formality requirements. It’s a must for any man who cares enough to pick out his own clothing. And would like to avoid future utterances of “Honey, does this go?”

If you’ve got a nephew or godson in need of a graduation present, this is the ticket. I only wish I had read this book before I ever went on a job interview or got married. I want to go to The Men’s Warehouse with a megaphone and preach from it to people going in the store.

The Style Guy

I was at the grocery store and decided to purchase my first issue of GQ. Naturally, I’d been aware of GQ Magazine. It seemed more like the flag of a overstuffed mentality than something to read, but remembering that the “G” stood for Gentleman’s, it seemed to have become a necessity. It was a wise investment, though it’s essentially just the Soup to Esquire’s Best Week Ever.

I was instantly enamoured with The Style Guy’s (Glen O’Brien) advice column. It outclasses the Answer Fella and the Playboy Advisory. Plus it’s funny.


Wanting more, but not inclined to dig through years of periodicals, I luckily stumbled upon an convenient solution. I was looking for Alan Flusser books at the library and accidentally found his. He's compiled what I assume is the best of his column into categories within a fun little book. I blew through it in five or six shits (sorry other library patrons, I was very careful).


It was a good read. Fun and informative in sort of an (Everything you wanted to know about being a cool grown up, but were afraid to ask) kind of way. I highly recommend it to anyone who’s ready to cancel their subscription to Maxim and start getting GQ delivered.

Golf Dreams, Goals

My dad was searching for his copy of Louden Wainwright III’s Album III to lend to me when he realized that he’d lent it to my sister. As a consolation prize, he handed me a book on tape. It was Golf Dreams. A collection of essays and short stories about golf written and read by John Updike. I just finished it yesterday.



It seems like a cruel joke now, getting me all fired up to play a round of honest golf in the middle of February. All I can do is bounce some puts around the living room and maybe set some “New Gentleman” golfing goals for the year. Here goes...

1. I’d like to get together with my poker buddies and play a dollar a hole skins game at least once. Or enlist them in a charity scramble for a decent cause. We used to play a couple times a season but I don't think we played at all last year which was a real shame. The same story applies to poker, bowling, pool and various other excuses to drink Miller High Life between turns and jokes.

2. I’d like to take my stepson out to the driving range 2 or 3 times in advance of taking a day off work to go nine with him on one of the ugly par 3s. He's about the age I was when my dad took me out. I dug the Junior set of clubs out of his basement last year and bought a bag of plastic practice balls at the end of last year. Although he's 5 times the athelete I was, he's equally prone to tears of frustration so it should be a fun little spin on the circle of life.

3. I’d like to get a new driver. My current one is a hand be down from my dad that has a nasty dent at the bottom of the club face and is probably an inch too short for me. I’d like to get one at least partially made of wood, if they still make them. I visited Dick's sporting goods and their selection was uniformly shiny and oversized. I’d also like to pick up a box of decent balls. Maybe Slazengers or Titleists. At this point my entire arsenal consists of found balls and scuffed emergency Top Flites.

4. I’d like to break 90. I’d been putting off buying proper spikes until I broke 90, but I realized that not having spikes was probably holding me back from breaking 90. So at the end of last season, when they were under $10 I bought a pair of Puma golf cleats. I know there’s a little book with tips and tricks for breaking 90. I’ll track it down and digest it. Hopefully that will do the trick.

5. I’m going to commit myself to walking every round, keeping an honest score card, playing by the rules, replacing, repairing and observing every golf courtesy. God help me if I come across a pair of knickers and argyle knee socks. Though, the tweed cap is definitely coming out.

How-To Book Review

I just read a smart little book by John Bridges called How To Be A Gentleman: A Contemporary Guide To Common Courtesy. Essentially, it’s a litany of gentlemanly proverbs loosely compiled into a handbook. Reading through them all at once, it becomes clear that being a gentleman is basically about two things. First, being completely dedicated to making the lives of others easier. And second, when all things are equal, executing the proper techniques in refinement.

You can essentially apply those two concepts and a little common sense and score a near perfect on a gentlemanly quiz. Still, I did find a handful to be rather enlightening. Such as:

“A gentleman says ‘thank you’ on paper, and ‘I’m sorry’ on the phone.”

“A gentleman feels no obligation to wear socks after Memorial Day…”

“A gentleman introduces youngest to oldest first.” And “A gentleman introduces an unmarried couple as individuals. Avoiding phrases like ‘…and this is her live-in boyfriend/homosexual companion/lover’”

“A gentleman never says ‘If there’s anything I can do…’ Instead of placing the burden on the unfortunate to ask for help he makes a specific offer of assistance.”

“A gentleman always carries plenty of singles. You always want to be prepared to leave a tip or to help someone who is unprepared to leave one.”

“A gentleman never instigates a handshake with a lady. Though he accepts and does so gently and quickly.”

“A gentleman never wears a button down shirt with a bow tie.”

“When pouring wine form a bottle, a gentleman turns it slightly as he finishes to avoid dripping”

“A gentleman doesn’t brag, whine or make idle threats.”


However, I also have to take issue with a few of his points. For various personal reasons I don’t plan on conforming to these standards any time soon.

“A gentleman tucks his undershirt into his underpants.”

“A gentleman doesn’t waste time with pilsner or beer glasses, the can or bottle will do”
First of all, I strongly disagree. And I happen to have a very elaborate collection of beer glasses that I’m quite proud of.

“A gentleman does not lean back in his chair.”
I can agree with this to a point. No slouching and chair tipping, but putting up your feet and leaning back is one of life’s great pleasures.