Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Pimp My Ride

My in-laws have a shore house in Delaware. In the garage is a Trek Navigator and a yard sale Rand cruiser bike, styled in primary blue with white and neon pink decals and a solid amount of rust. My stepson and I decided to give it a makeover.

We took it almost completely apart. Painted the blue parts army green and the shiny parts (including the spokes) a gritty hammered black steel. (gunmetal was unavailable). Once it was fairly dry, I put it back together, took it for a test drive down Rt. 1 from Lewes to Dewey and proclaimed it safe. Next move is crafting some stencils and adding a few insignia.

Sadly, while purchasing a basket kit at the bike shop, we saw a $520 custom Felt beauty that has outdone us in every way. Though you can't put a price on quality time and do-it-yourself pride.

Friday, July 10, 2009

A Car Story

I'm not a car guy. It's not really in my blood. I have friends and relatives by marraige that are, but most of it is lost on me.

My unlce Johnny sold my dad his brown Mercury Capri when I was just old enough to notice what kind of car he was driving. I can remember the exact moment. He pulled out onto a highway pretty hard and the tires screeched and the engine growled. It served more as a second car. In fact, if I recall correctly, my old man was taking me from a family get-together to my baseball game that day. We wore it completely into the ground. I started to learn stick in that baby, and that may have been what ultimately killed it.

My mom's dad has a dark blue Crown Vic. He's had this car forever. Not a specific one, though. He's replaced an old dark blue Crown Victoria with a brand new one at least twice since I've been old enough to notice. I used to find it a little absurd. Lately, I kind of dig the idea. Some guys look forward to getting a new car every couple years. My father-in-law, for instance, is always lusting after some variety of hot rod or new look classic. That seems to be pretty common. A lot of guys view cars like toys. My relationship with cars is more like the kind you have with a hunting dog or a pair of shoes. When they wear out from over use, you know they worked for you, so you might as well replace them strait up.

As a kind of nod to the old Capri, my first and only car is a brown Mercury Sable. Same detailing, stripes and sunroof, as the old one. It's a 2000. It runs good, but it won't last forever. Probably just long enough to teach my 11 year old step son how to drive before giving out. You can bet that I'll replace it with a brown Mercury sedan of some sort. Mildly sporty, sunroof, pinstripes, etc. I figure, If it ain't broke...

Friday, July 3, 2009

Wild West Gentleman Style

Perhaps this is a terrible idea. But perhaps this is pure inspired sartorial genius. I've been watching a lot of old westerns lately and I couldn't help but notice the prominence of the Western String Tie on men of class and sophistication. Not men with particular pretnese or rank. Just hard nosed cowboys who prefered looking sharp to looking dusty and grizzled.

Maybe it's time to try one out. See how it plays. It might be just the look I've been searching for. Or it could make me look like Colonel Sanders.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Root Canal

I’m scheduled to have a root canal today at 2:30 (tooth hurty) get it. I wish I was making that up. I wish I was making the whole thing up. Actually, I’m more concerned with the pain of paying for it that the physical pain I’m in for.

But if I’m looking for a silver lining, I suppose there’s one sliver. All this talk and experiment in the ways of dressing, smelling, drinking and equipping myself like a man is one thing. It’s probably a more noble pursuit to try and take it like a man.

Quick back story: I had a toothache years ago and my original dentist passed away the week of my appointment. I let it go for a while before finding a new dentist. He patched me up, but warned that somewhere down the road I might need a root canal. The time has come, but he lamented the fact that my tooth was unusually long (30mm) and he lacked the proper equipment to get it done right. He sent me to a specialist who I’ll be meeting and cowering from this afternoon. If it ends up being an interesting event, I’ll let you know about it.

My abnormally long and poorly maintained teeth

Friday, May 29, 2009

True Cool = Charlie Watts

The aim is to have no aim, but nail the center of the target anyway. Coolness is not giving a fuck without saying "I don't give a fuck". And nobody, in my estimation, is less affected and more spot on than the backbone of the goddamn Rolling Stones.

"When people talk about the '60s I never think that was me there. It was me and I was in it, but I was never enamoured with all that. It's supposed to be sex and drugs and rock and roll and I'm not really like that. I've never really seen the Rolling Stones as anything."

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

XX Mascot

I can’t say that I endorse Dos Equis. But this fictional lothario does and he makes Bill Brasky look like Spuds MacKenzie. Or Spuds MacKenzie look like Bill Brasky. I’m not sure what I’m trying to say. He’s awesomely awful and awfully awesome.

“He is the most interesting man in the world.”

“His reputation is expanding faster than the universe.”

“He once had an awkward moment just to see how it feels.”

“He lives vicariously through himself.”

“The police often question him just because they find him interesting.”

“His beard alone has experienced more than a lesser man’s entire body.”

“His blood smells like cologne.”

Friday, May 22, 2009


"There comes a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better or worse as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernal of nourshing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given him to till."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

(Courtesy: The Sporting Life Blog)

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Monkey see...

"To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while."

- Josh Billings