Friday, March 27, 2009

Bald Lemonade

When life hands you lemons, you’re left with two options: bitch and whine about the sour taste, or make lemonade with them. So when life hands you baldness, what’s the lemonade?

I suppose it depends on whether you like lemonade or not. Or more importantly if you’re thirsty. Being thirsty is something you don’t really have control over. It’s a natural instinct. So are sexual attraction and initial human perceptions.

An anthropological study* found that “Pattern baldness may signal social maturity, a non-threatening form of dominance associated with wisdom and nurturance.” Meaning women’s baser instincts around choosing a mate rely on baldness to indicate a good potential husband and father. Furthermore, facial hair also indicated sexual potency and dominance. (Supposedly, the Connery on the right is more attractive)

In fact that leads me to believe that men who attempt to hide their baldness are in fact aptly demonstrating to the opposite sex that they do not actually posses the traits that their baldness would subconsciously indicate. Much in the same way women incorrectly assume that men automatically desire thin women, Delilah doesn’t want her Samson out ripping apart lions, destroying temples and slaying Philistines.

I guess it all comes down to embracing the characteristics that come with age as opposed to clinging to your youth. I wouldn’t suggest that men who are losing their hair are lucky. But when life hands you baldness lemons, you have to embrace the thirst quenching possibilities instead of fostering the want of a snack.

*The Evolutionary Significance and Social Perception of Male Pattern Baldness

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