Thursday, January 22, 2009

Ode to my Master Lock 1500

You are solid and substantial. You are shiny but plain. You are a simple machine that holds only one secret. You are named after the 1500 possible combinations you could have. But you only have one for me. I have a foolproof mnemonic device for remembering it, involving a simple mathematical equation containing football numbers and birthdays. That is what gives you a personal feel.

Of course, it would have been even nicer to have been able to choose your combination. But if I can't choose your secret code, I'm glad that I can choose where you're from. Made in the U.S.A., Milwaukee to be precise. That makes me feel good. A padlock manufactured in Milwaukee. It sounds as good as hardened steel high tech boron double ball bearing lock shackle, reinforced stainless steel outer case, fully recessed bolt cutter resistant dial and high security combination. Just saying it makes my nipples resemble your corrugated dial knob.

Sometimes I like to imagine that you are my personal little secret service agent. You stay clipped to my bag, waiting to be called into duty. To keep guard over my money and cell phone while I work out and take a shower. One day you may be called on to keep the back of a rental truck closed. Or you may be asked to keep luggage, a tool box or a storage unit secure. Maybe one day you'll accompany one of my children to a sports camp or be retired to a rarely used tool shed. But as long as I can remember your secret code, our bond will be as strong as your hardened steel 3/4 inch shackle.

Photo posted on Flickr by Reggiesgirl

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